Chasing Pavements
by Forkular
Summary: A life is formed in heart shaped bruises.Namine has problems,she tries to deny it but it doesn't go away.The one person who can heal her is taken,her life worsens."Theres this thing inside me,it pumps when I see you,keeps me alive,for you." Love.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1: Finding cement

What is it about us people who lost all of their friends? Tell me that much, at least!

Friends...that is a large topic with me, if you want to know the whole story, I dare you to hold your breath while reading it;

I was a big crybaby and a shy girl when I started school. I was the new girl in the school and everyone knew each other, but I was so mortified by everyone I only had 2 friends. A small scrawny boy, and a even tinier girl. They were my friends. They helped me, defended me and everything.

So I was shattered when I discovered that I was moving. The tiny girl was my best friend, my little step clos to accomplishment. She made me stronger than I really was. But I moved, it was ineitable, and I've never talked to either of my friends again.

You see, I was big on crushes and everyone always could tell if I liked someone, just to be confident I told the boy who I liked that I had a crush on him and he started hating me, in disgust no one talked to me. Until I finally, a year later, found someone else I was interest in. Problem was that he had a girlfriend..and now they're not toghether anymore, and she came crying to me, but I wanted to get with him! But it never happened. I found 2 new friends and they were reliable as could be! We went through thick and thin, tried everything together and never left each other behind.

However, once again, it kind of failed and I'll tell you why.

I started being friends with this new girl, but my old ones got jealous of me. Of course I told them to hang out with the other girl too because she seemed pretty nice. So they did...but then I got jealous and the other girl didn't seem very nice afterall. She kept calling me names, insulting me, and everything! It went to far when my old friend didn't defend me.

So, yes, she started hating ME, for something thaat SHE didn't do.

Rediculous! I mean, I even apoligized to her, she still hated me and decided that it would be fun to make others do the same to me. Sucessful for her. Sucks for me.

Going through this made me so weak I had mental break downs in the middle of classes. I would start crying out of no where. But the worst was yet to come. I had 4/6 classes with her! It made it even harder on me.

It's been like this and never stopped. Humiliating me before the school was her next act.

Think of the most insulting song ever, then picture yourself being the one it was about.

That is how I felt and was treated like. For the next couple of months all I heard people say behind me, or while walking past me was,

"Cau'se I'm a blond."

"B-L-O-N-D!"

"B-L- I don't know!"

Snorting and giggeling behind my back never ended.

It wasn't my fault.

* * *

My blond hair flung around my shoulder and I wore a white dress and black pants underneath because of the cold.

I checked my cerluean blue eyes in the mirror when I passed it during periods.

But at least I have 2 friends now...least I could do in highschool.

"Nami-chaaaan!" Kairi sand waddeling over to me. SHe was always so clingy, but I didn't blame her, her parents did abuse her and yell at her a lot.

She swung me around with ease and then frowned me down.

"You should eat more food. What are you, starving yourself now?" She asked accusingly.

I shake my head instantly. "No, no, it's not like that! It's just that it's embaressing when people watch me eat...It's un-comfortable, especially popular girls do that." I mutter sadly.

Kairi slapped my shoulder as if to get sense into me, "Come on! Just tell them to go to hell!" She cheered happily.

"Tha-That's going to work even worse, I would be hunted out of here with pitch forks." I mumble and keep walking. Kairi followed me and I didn't expect anything else. She's attached to me by the hip. She already tried to convince me, and beg, to surgicaly make it happen.

"But you will eat! Because it was an assembly so you have lunch with meeeeee!" She continued to sing while dragging me along with her into the commons where people stood in line to get their food.

"I'll share with you, just stay here and save my seat!" Kairi informed me before storming off into the line. At least the food looked and tasted decent in here.

"My, oh my, the witch is actually seen near food today?" The annoying voice asked. I didn't even bother to see who it was because I knew by the sound and nickname of it. Larxene.

I stayed still and stared down at the table before me. Folding my hands in my lap nervously fidgeting.

"What? Cat cought your tounge now? Surprise, surprise!" She spoke sarcasticly and laughed nasaly. "Little witch, what is wrong with you? Anorexic much? Maybe bulimic?" She kept on teasing.

"Leave her alone!" Kairi's voice screached as she aproached Larxene.

"Oh, the invisible girl! Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi." She repeated over and over again to annoy Kairi.

"Yes, you must be high." She spat at her, that was the good thing about Kairi. She always had good come back lines.

Larxene sneered and then retreated back to her group. Kairi sat down next to me, shoving a piece of pizza before me.

"I don't want it." I say refusingly.

But she was stubborn and probably wouldn't let this go so easily, "Go ahead, I only want the crust anyways." Kairi yawned and eyed me until I took a small bite.

When only the crust was left, Kairi ate it willingly and handed me the next thing she got me. "Eat this." She said confidently.

The cookie before me was screaming 'FAT' on it.

I shake my head. "No, I'm full." I say quietly getting up.

Kairi grabbed my arm and pulled me back down. "I will not let you go until you eat that."

"But I can't fit it!" I protest, squeaking.

"It's going to be fine! Stretch it."

"But it will make me fat!"

"You're an item on the titanic, you know what you are? Dust! You're too small!"

"People will stare."

"They can choke on their food!"

"I'm not hungry."

"EAT THE GOD DAMN COOKIE!" She shouted loudly, making it so a couple of kids would look back at her.

I munched on it against my will and sighed. This made me a little sick and shaky.

"Good girl!" Kairi cheered and stood up with me. "Now lets go see Riku!" She said confidently and dragged me out of the commons. It was normal.

Riku...he's an amazing character. You see, he is mentally crazy, they say...but I think they just missjudged him. He was a boy with many talents, he played the piano and he could sing softly and well. If you saw him walking down the street you could think he was a model. But no, he is not recognized for beauty in this school, since he has a 'special' class he goes to for about 2 periods. Pretty sad, maybe. But I believed in him.

"We're here to visit!" Kairi chimed in as she clashed through the piano rooms, door. Where Riku's head hung down, his silver locks in his face and his beautiful eyes hidden as he played a dark song.

"Hello?" Kairi asked knocking on RIku's forehead, "Anyone in there?" She asked loudly.

"What?" Riku's heas sprung up and he smiled at us two. "Hello there Kairi, Namine." He nodded at both of us. "Whats up today?" He asked politely.

"Namine actually ate a pizza and a cookie today!" Kairi cheered proudly.

"Congrats, Namine." Riku smiled sincerely.

"Don't remind me, or else I might hurl it up..." I mumble and sit next to Riku on his piano bench. "Sing." I simply say and he starts singing a sweet tune, without words he manages to do a complete song. "Thank you." I say and Kairi opened the piano rooms door again.

"Lets go!" She said loudly and grabbed both of us.

"But they'll start talking again!" Riku hissed. "Don't hold me! Remember what happened last time we all hugged at the same time?" He continued to hiss.

I remembered.

They all started to say that Kairi and I were sleeping with Riku.

Which was a complete lie.

"Whatever!" Kairi rolled her eyes and continued to walk past the staring eyes.

* * *

Among the crowd I could make out that people were crowding a new boy.

"Lets save him!" Kairi said stomping forward with no problem.

"No!" I blurt pulling her back. "They'll look!"

Kairi stared at me blankly, "So? Let them look at the fabulous me all they want!" She laughed raspy-like and flitted through the crowd to see and pull whoever was in the middle, out.

She came back in defeat, one of her sleeves pulled down.

"They beat me there..." She whimped. "But I saw him! And he was cute!" Kairi said, completely out of breath.

I blink. Kairi liked a lot of boys but there was only one for her anyways, and that was Sora. And evernthough she tried to set me and Riku up, multiple times, I told her that I had no interest whatsoever in him.

"Okay then...what did he look like?" I ask curiously.

"Adorable! Believe me! And from what I could catch, he just came in and finished signing up. He'll continue with his class now in any mi-" The bell finished her sentence and hugged me and Riku before hopping upstairs to her class.

Weird.

I go back to my art class, which I was the best in, I loved art. Everything about it was just so inspiring, how could I not like it?

"This is Roxas Hiyumi, he'll be in art class as elective now." The teacher introduced and I got a good look at him.

He was similar to Sora, but had blond spikes and luring eyes that spoke a tale of happiness, he also wore interesting clothes that showed me that his character was sort of messy, but perfectly fine and sweet.

Hold up! I don't even know him! So why is my face getting so warm?

"Hello. Nice to meet you all." Roxas announced and sat in front of me. Yes, in front of ME! I was cheering inside before I could stop my mental happiness of him.

I mean, for all I know, he could be a total joke. Or rude.

But something told me that he was different.

* * *

"Uhm, can you hand me some orange paint?" He asked turning around. He was so amazing...

My heart stopped as I blinked and then picked up my hold with the color orange.

"That's red. Do you have orange?" He asked again with tired eyes, holding up the cup.

"No, it's orange. I'm pretty sure."

"No it's not." He retorted and I sighed a little, getting up and showing him that I was right.

"I'll proove you wrong." I say and look at his picture of the clock tower in the city main. "It is orange." I spoke and lifted my brush to lightly stroke a edge of the clock. "You see?" I say turning to him.

"Oh! Sorry, thanks." He mutters embaressed.

"That's okay. And, don't make heavy strokes or else it will look messy. Mix some colors." I suggest and go back to my artwork.

O.

O.

O.

"So, how was it? Is he cute? Did he ask you out yet?" Kairi blasted me as soon as I was in my next class with her.

"Kairi, we jusrt met! Stop crowding me already with questions." I sigh loudly and go to my last class.

But she cought up with me quickly and stopped me before my 2nd elective, cooking, I never took it or ate what I made, I always gave it to Riku or Kairi to make them happy. I don't like food anyways-not too much.

Substituding our class was a young woman wearing a light pink blouse and she had wavy shoulder lenght hair.

"I have a sheet for you to follow, you'll be making some sweets of your choice for Valentines day.

I hate Valentines day.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: Cooking with the blondies

**NAMINE'S POV**

"Hey, uhm, Riku, do you want to be my partner?" I skip over to him.

He smiled weakly and sadly, "I can't do this project, I have cleaning duty, sorry Nam." He sighed and took the broom from the closet. "I wish I could, they make sooo much mess. Pigs." Riku grunted and started cleaning around us.

Fine.

I turn around and jumped back. I exhale, loudly. It was only the teacher, but she scared the living daylight out of me.

"Namine, there you are!" She smiled widely. "I was going to ask you if you had a partner, because I have to ask the class, I know that there is not an un-even amount in this class." She stated and turned towards the class. "Who else needs a partner?!" She asked pretty loudly embaressing me as people looked at me with funny eyes.

When no one raised their hands then I sighed to signature that I indeed was the loser no one wanted to be in a group with.I didn't like them staring at me.

The door opened.

* * *

**ROXAS POV**

Great, I wasn't only late to my first class, but also all the ones in-between those, including my last one right now! I hoped that this teacher could cut me some slack for once, where was I headed to again?

Cooking? What hall is the 600 hall? I don't know where that is!

I was ready to give up when I finally saw a sign that pointed towards the 600 halls. Finally, I wouldn't be 15 minutes late, wandering around like some lost dog.

I didn't even know how to cook, so why did I even sign up for this class in the first place? I was no good in this sort of thing. I would probably burn the kitchen down trying to toast a poptart or something.

Yeah, thats how bad I was.

I could hear the teacher speak to the class, I took a deep breath and stepped inside.

She turned to me. "I knew we didn't have an uneven amount of people in this class!" She smiled to herself. "Look Namine, here's your partner!" She said confidently and walked away.

A tiny girl, the shape of an lean angel. SO small and petite, she had soft blond hair that flipped at her side a little over he shoulder, and she was so small! Her eyes pulled me in as she shyly looked over at me.

Wasn't she the one who gave me a lecture about the color orange I asked her for? I was pretty sure she was.

She came towards me first and I was surprised on how small she still was! I mean, she was like a doll.

I took that thought away, thinking it would kind of be insulting. "Hey. Uhm, I'm Roxas Hiyumi." I say shaking her hand.

She looked down at the shaking hands. "I know. You're in my art class." She stated and her lips formed into a tiny smile, making her shine.

I looked like a fool. I just introduced myself to her_-again_. I must look like a loser to her now. "Oh, yeah." Was all I could say for the moment.

"We're making something for Valentines day." She grumbles darkly. Maybe her boyfriend broke up with her and she hates Valentines day-hold up! I shouldn't think of this. I don't even know if she had a boyfriend. And I shouldn't think this anyways, I hardly know her.

For all I know, she could be mean, rude, and cold hearted.

But maybe she wasn't.

"What are you going to make?" She asks curiously looking over my shoulder on her toes. Ah, yes, I was taller than the tiny little girl.

"I really do not know." I say in a silly and daft tone. Was I making myself stupid in front of a girl? I hope she didn't think I was an idiot.

She laughed under her breath, which was angelic, if you ask.

"You could start at the basics and just make some sort of cookie." She suggests, looking down at the cooking book before her. "I think I'll make one of those very small chocolate cakes. I love detail." She adds and starts grabbing some key ingerdients. "If you need help..y-you-c-can ask." She studdered, what was she nervous about?

I swallow hard and nod before reading some things about what I was attempting to create.

She already had the chocolate cake puffy and up before I even got to finish mixing everything together, of what I believed would turn out well.

She started making frosting for her cake in different color. She was right, the cake was very small. But I bet with her work of her hands, her tiny hands, it would turn out well....

Her bright and big eyes glanced over at what I had attempted, poorly. She restrained a laugh, I could tell by her biting her lip.

"D-Do- you need he-h-help?" She started again turning away from me to breathe.

I nod shamefully and she gracefully took my hands in her tiny ones and showed me how to form my cookie.

"Then you crease it right here," She spoke and I didn't listen to anything she was saying, I was just staring at her hands over mine, showing me how to do this.

How does she get her hands so soft and smooth?

"Then, eventually you stroke over it to make it nice and smooth, so that it wont bug later." She lectured in her cute voice, "There! Now you have a heart shaped cookie." She smiled and returned to her work.

"T-Thank you...you're good at this." I say quietly.

She laughs bitterly, something that didn't sound as nice. "Yeah, well, it's basics...but I like art better."

"I can tell." I blurt and scold myself for saying that.

She dropped what she was doing and looked up at me. "How? How can you tell?" She asked, hands on her hips.

I bet I turned red from my frantic attitude, I didn't mean to offend her! "I-I-I don't know..uhm, sorry." I slurred in a hasty nervous break down.

She giggled at me, "You're funny." She said and continued her artwork on her cake.

I exhaled with urge. She made me so nervous for something she was doing on purpose.

Some girl she is.

* * *

**NAMINE'S POV**

I could not believe that I was actually talking to him.

It just came by with ease. He was nice, so far from what I could tell. My lips just moved and more words came out and it turned into a conversation.

Wow, I thought, that was easy. I am actually capable of having a conversation with him.

Well, yeah, but not without jumping up and down in my heart when he speaks to me. That wasn't possible.

I was pretty satisfied on how my small cake came out to be, it was pretty cute. I liked it. I gave much effort into the designs for it.

"Yours looks good." Roxas said looking over to my creation and then back to his. "Mine looks deformed...." He said as he got the cookie out of the oven.

"That can't be true I-" I pause looking down. "Yeah, it's screwed up..." I mumble and look back up at him, "When's the funeral?"

"Probably now." Roxas shrugs and picks up the cookie.

"I wouldn't do tha-" I try to warn him but to late.

He popped it in his mouth.

In almost an instant he spit it out.

I laugh as loud as I could. "Didn't you know it was going to be hot?" I ask, tearing up.

He frowns jumping up and down. "I hihnt hno!" He struggles (_I didn't know_).

I laugh some more and hand him gum. "Here, sugar free gum helps a lot." I snort as he places it in his mouth, wrapper and all. But soon spits out the wrapper.

He moans in relief. "That's much better! Thank you." He cries and thanks.

"Your welcome." I wink and start cleaning up. "Come on, work on cleaning this up, I don't want to make Riku have to clean everything."

"Riku?" He asked curiously, but picking everything up and throwing things away.

"Yeah, I'm walking home with him, and I hate it when he has cleaning duty because we usually ride the bus, but not anymore, so we walk home." I explain.

"Oh...so, is he like, your boyfriend or something?" Roxas asked me with a hint of a frown in his voice.

"No, he's my friend, why?" I ask tilting my head.

He shakes his head, "Just asking." He shrugs and grabs his bag. "Uhm, I'll see you later." He waved me good bye and left.

* * *

**A/N:** Wow, I am having fun writing a Namine and Roxas story for once...it astounds me...

Review please!

You know you want to......

It's the clicky button right beneath this...just one click and you can write some words to let me know what you think....

**Kairi**: JUST CLICK THE GOD DAMN BUTTON!

**Me:** Thank you Kairi...


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3: Un-expected

"There is no way I will go there. I will never seen there. Not even seen on the same street!" I refused and struggled out of Kairi's grip.

"Come on! It'll be fun!" She yelped.

"I said no way!" I yelled back at her.

"Please! I beg of you! I want you to finally have a good time!"She cried. Her puppy face always got her somewhere....damn that look.

"I will not enjoy it." I sigh and give in as she cheered loudly in tiumph.

Were you wondering where she was trying to drag me to?

A party. From the seniors in school.

Yeah, exatly....I have the same expression as the 'scream' picture when she told me. I mean, how did she even get in? Come on! But then, she told me that her brother managed to get her into it.

Axel was known as the party freak, and Kairi, his sister, was just a crazy freak all-together. No surprise to say that they're related.

But this was it. "Kairi, there is no way I am wearing this!" I cry at her throwing what she just shoved in my hands away.

"Awww!" She pouted. "At least wear a tank top!" She begged.

I groaned, "FINE!" I scream and grab the tank top but not the tiniest skirt in this dimension. Instead I wore my light blue skinny jeans. I hugged myself in discomfort of it all, I've never been to a party like this, but of course, Kairi has been to plenty.

Crazy.

* * *

Loud music, lights dimmed, plenty of spiked drinks, and of course, the dancinf teens hogging each other. Disgusted me. I felt so out of place! I never wanted to go to a party like this! I didn't like parties. But how could I refuse my best friend? If she wanted to go, of course I would go with her, just in case because I don't want her to get hurt. But in the process of arriving I'm more scared of me being mauled by the teens or dissed for some reason.

"Let's dance!" Kairi called over to me over the banging fast music and grabbed my wrist to head in the crowd of dancing freaks.

It was the most scariest experiences in my life, or history of experiences.

The song _'She wants to move'_ by _'N.E.R.D'_ was playing, and I mean, if Kairi liked this kind of music, fine, but I didn't!

Kairi was pressed against me as she swung around and shook her hips, letting her hair fly around her. But me in opposite, did not know what to do. And was out of the whole entire mood.

Kairi glanced at me and placed one hand on the sides of my hips. "You shake!" She demanded and moved me around.

I turned red during the whole entire thing and it was so hot inside I could hardly breathe over the laughter and alcohol.

When someone came up behind me and started dancing all up on me that was it. I couldn't do this anymore. I moved out of the crowd as fast as I could and found the back yards swing. I sat down and breathed. This was much more convenient for me, dancing is just not my thing.

"What are you doing here?" A girl asked, coming from out of the party.

She had raven black hair and her body was tall and skinny. She walked over to me and her blue eyes amazed me.

"I don't feel like dancing." I mumble, swinging back and forth on the swing. "I'm not built for parties. I guess..."

She giggled and stood before me. "Me neither." She paused. "I'm Xion." She smirked widely.

"I'm Namine." I answer shyly. But with her, I felt more openly, as if could tell her so much. "Do you go to my school? You look familiar." I state, looking her over once more.

"Yeah, oh, I'm in your lunch and your art class I believe."

"Now I remember!" I smile a bigger smile. "I love art." I comment.

"Really? Me too, I just don't make too good pictures." She laughed and looked to the side a little. "I'm not too good with talking to people." She sighed.

"Me neither. I don't have to much of a social life."

"So how did you end up at the party?" She asked curiously.

I think for a little. "My friend, she took me here." I tell her.

"What's her name?"

"Kairi Farah."

Xion paused for a long time, just looking at me, "I'm sorry, not to offend you or anything, but I don't really like her."She hung her head down as if expecting me to scold her.

"That's okay. I don't care." I say, to my surprise it really did make me jump inside. Did I really just say that?

Xion looked back up to me and smiled, "You're pretty cool, Namine." She complimented.

"Thanks, you too."

"Maybe we can hang out more often!"

"Sure!"

I made a friend! I actually managed to make someone like me! I have a friend!

Maybe coming to this party was a pretty good idea afterall.

* * *

I wake up by a buzzing sound.

I look over next to me.

My phone was vibrating.

I groan, picking it up and reading a message I got.

I was surprised by the time it was sent. But then again, she stays up late a lot.

_**Kairi-**_

_3:24 am._

_Where R U? Looked all ova 4 U. U just vanished w/out saying anything._

I text back.

_Namine: I went home, sry, I rly had 2 zzzzz, Kai._

In a matter of seconds she wrote back. Literally, she's a very fast texter.

_Kairi: O, well, I cant go 2 school today._

Huh? She always goes.

_Namine: Y not?_

_Kairi: I hve 2 help mom mve._

_Namine: Since when iz she movin?_

_Kairi: Fght w/ dad, mking me go w/ her. GTG, txt U l8er._

I sigh and get up to put on my school uniform. I then slung my bag over my shoulder after brushing my teeth, hair, and eating.

"I'm going to school!" I announce to my mother.

"See you later, hon." She called back to me.

I didn't really like the school uniform. It was sort of exposing. The skirts were kind of short and it was basically the shortest skirt I've ever worn...

However, school was only about 2 blocks away, so I was lucky, if I failed the drivers test, no one would know because I could simply walk to school. Another advantage is that I can take as much as I want to get ready for school. But then dissadvantage is if I ever have a stalker, they know where I live...not like that will ever happen.

"Namine! Hold up!" A female voice calls after me and I turn around from my lockers to face Xion.

"Hey!" I wave her happily over and she bombards over to me and hugs me tightly as if I were a stuffed animal.

"I missed you! I was going to call but I decided to let you rest for right now." She smirks down at me.

"It's hardly been hours since we've last seen each other." I laugh and she rolls her eyes playfully.

"Well, anyways- want to sit with me in lunch? I'll save you a seat." She said enthusiasticly.

"Sure." I reply to her and take her offer.

"Oh, by the way, do you know Roxas Hiyumi?" She asked.

I nod instantly at his name. "Yes I do."

"Okay. He'll sit with us too." She smiled.

Maybe I should invite Riku too. I'll ask him in gym.

* * *

The thing is, Riku is absent today also! It looked kind of suspicious until I checked my phone and he said that he had the flu.

Fine then.

I sat next to Xion and across from Roxas as we engaged in several random conversations about music.

"What's your favorite song?" Roxas asked Xion.

"I like- _Violence_ by _Blink182_."

"Oh yeah! I love that song and the band! Last year I went to their concert." Roxas stated.

"What's your favorite song?" Xion asked Roxas.

"Hm..this'll sound kind of girly. But _'Join me in death'_ by 'H.I.M'"

"That;s not girly at all!" Xion complained, smirking. Then they both turned to me. "What's yours?"

"Uhm..." I think, I knew and liked both of their songs, so much, I wanted to say Violence by Blink182, but that would be kind of awkward in some sort of way...

"Well, what is it?" Roxas asked, curious also.

"I like Chasing Pavements by Adele." I quickly mention.

"Coolio! That song is so cute!" Xion pinched me. "Anyone you like specificly? Anyone who reminds you of that song?"

I blush looking lowly at the table. "No. At the moment, no." I crept 3 grapes under the table to make sure they didn't notice that I didn't eat. I didn't want them to think I had a problem.

"So, are you guys doing anything today? Want to hang out?" Xion asked popping a piece of gum in her mouth.

"I can't promise you anything, but I'll ask my mom." I say quietly.

I already knew the answer, it was always no, I could never go anywhere to my friends that my parents didn't know the parents of. So it was immeadaitly off of the list.

"I know I can. I'll come by whenever its fine with you."

"How about after school?"

"Sure." Roxas noded in agreement.

I sort of was jealous. I hoped we could trip this to another conversation. I beg of them.

"Sooo...." Xion began. "There is this one thing I had to do at the office, I'm already late, so I'll catch you guys later, k?" She smiled and jumped up, making her way out of the cafeteria and into the halls.

Roxas and I sat in silence. "Are you going to eat that?" He asked me, eyeing the brownie before me that I had amde in home ed.

"No, go ahead." I say simply shoving it to him.

"Thank you Nami!" He grinned. 'Nami' he had a nickname for me! I was so happy!

My heart fluttered as he gazed at me, "Lets go." He said quickly after eating and stood up with me.

In a silent tone we just walked out and into a the empty halls. "What is it?" I ask shyly.

"I just wanted to be here with you for right now." Roxas leaned against the wall and I just stood before his slim figure.

"You're very small." He mentioned.

"Uhm, yeah..." I awkwardly say and placed a lose strand of hair behind my ear. "I am."

Out of no where he just came and hugged me. He held me so comfortably in place and I hugged him back, my head fit by his chest and we just stood there. In embrace, I listened to his breathing, if made me feel calmer, I loved it when I could hear it.

The bell rang and he let go of me.

"Uhm, so, yeah, well-Bye Namine!" He said, waving and turning around to quickly jog away as I stood there.

Did we just have a moment there?


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4: Inside the heart beat.

Inside my head is a picture. It makes me flutter and it feels nice. I want to keep it there. It makes me feel uneasy. But it's so beautiful.

All I could think about was Roxas that night. Maybe I was exagerating but, he hugged me! ME! I must mean something to him. I must be liked by him! Oh my, what do I do now? How do I act now? Cool? I'm the complete opposite of that!

I should stop spazzing already, it's making me creepy and fangirly-ish....already scary enough!

Let me get some sleep now. That is, if I can get to sleep at all.

* * *

"Namine!" Kairi sings loudly and comes to almost run over me, who was talking to Xion.

"Kairi, you're back." I look at the taller girl hanging on my neck.

I could feel Xion fidgeting uncomfortably. "Oh hi, Xion." Kairi said and I could hear clear venom in her voice. I shot Kairi a glare to make her stop and for once, she did.

"Well, I was just going to tell you that I have to help Riku finish his math homework, so we'll be in the practice room for a while, okay?" She assured me.

"Mhmm, tell Riku I said hey." I inform her before she goes skipping back to her old self, like a crazy elf...which I bet she is, just hiding it from me.

"I'm sorry." Xion mumbles.

"About what?" I ask, frowning up at her, how come I am the shortest out of everyone all the time?

She hesitates and I felt my phone vibrating.

"Please, excuse me!" I laugh and pick the phone out of my pants. "It's from Kairi."

"What did she say?" Xion ushered.

_Kairi_

_12:34-today_

_Don't frget 2 eat! ;)_

I quickly delete it before Xion could see and lie to her that she was just saying sorry as I put the phone back into my backpack. Then we continue to talk.

The lovely blond figure walks up to us. I almost fainted inside on the sight of him.

"Hi Roxas!" Xion chimed and linked arms with him and I. Walking down the halls I felt stares. What if, now they build rumors about us? That wouldn't do me any good right now.

"Are you guys going to the fun house later next week after school?" Roxas asks us.

Again, I lied. I can't go. "I'll ask..." I try to say but am muted by the loud announcer.

"Could we please see Namine Lafee to the office now? Namine Laffe." They repeat and I un-link my arms. They didn't have to say my last name, I'm the only Namine in this whole entire school in the whole entire city.

"Ohh, Nami, did you do something bad?" Xion teased.

"Not that I know of." I start and Roxas interrupts.

"We're sure of that, our little innocent Namine wouldn't hurt anyone." he teased with Xion but I turned red at that and turned away to storm into the office.

"Hello, Namine." The schools principal smiled at me, at her side was the counselor.

This wasn't good.

"Could you please walk this way with us?" She advised me into their office in their layer of teacherness, or whatever they do. "Please take a seat." She told me and I sat down on the chair.

"We would like to let you know that your doctor called your mother, and they both had a distinct phone call with us." The counselor started while my principal just stood by the door.

"Yes, and?" I squeak in hopes that this wasn't bad news at all.

"Well, they told us about your progress and we wanted to let you know that you've been losing a lot of weight in the last couple of weeks. We want to ask you this, in confidence of only us, Namine, do you have an eating disorder?" She asked me.

I shake my head. "No. I don't." I state, biting my lip. She already knew that I was lying, it wasn't hard to tell if I was.

"We have observed you, and you have been sneaking food away from you to make your friends believe you're eating." They continued.

"I said I did not have an eating disorder!" I get up from my chair in anger.

"That is what you say." My counselor said calmly. "But we just want to let you know, that if you don't gain at least 15 pounds, you will not be able to attend some of these classes in this school." She said with false caring eyes.

"I'm fine! There's nothing wrong with my eating!" I almost scream in anger.

"But please, you need to gain that necessary weight to be able to attend your elective classes and gym. We would have to cut those."

Elective classes? No, I had those with Roxas, I can't leave that. "I will say this again, there is nothing wrong with me!" I almost burst out in tears. Why do they have to be right? Why do they have to push the truth in front of me?

"If you're not ready to talk to us yet, then you may go to class." My rpincipal wrote me a note. "Here." They handed me the note and I walked out of the room.

As soon as I turned the corners, into the empty halls, I broke down and my knees buckled beneath me, making me fall on my weak knees. Burying my face in my hands to stop the tears. I started sobbing and crying quietly, hick-up-ing on the floor, broken down. I didn't want to go to class, this big fuss would go on with Kairi as she would probably beat anyone who even looked at me, and then, she would go to the office and get expelled.

But I already knew that they all were right, I did have a problem and I needed to get rid of it, fast.

* * *

"So, did you get in trouble?" Xion asked me, scooting close.

"No." I answer in my dull shell.

"Then what happened?"

I had to lie, they wouldn't like me if they knew that I had a eating disorder, I would be a weirdo, they wouldn't understand.

"It was some survey." I quickly answer and look at the food on peoples plates before me. Fattening. Disgusting me. I mean, is that girl over there seariously going to eat all of that?!

They raised the food to their lips and bit off chunks, ate portion after portion. Stuffing it in their mouths and chewing happily.

Nausea built up in my stomach and I couldn't hold it any more.

"I got to go." I blurt jumping up and running towards the girls bathroom out in the halls.

I eventually threw up in the toilet I was hung over.

A knock on the stall door scared me.

"Namine? Are you in there? Roxas and I are worried! Let me in!" She called and I curled up as a ball against the stall and reached out my shaking fingers to open the stall door.

Xion gasped at what she saw. She closed the door behind herself and bent down to me.

"Namine-you..." She tried to say but chocked on her words.

I felt the tears burn my eyes and I threw myself in her arms for comfort.

I sobbed more into her chest and held on to her. "I-I-...I can-can't a-anymore!" I cried.

"Shhh, it's okay. Lets get you cleaned up and we can get out of here, okay?" She said, rubbing my back with her warm hands. "Is that better?" She asked.

I nod silently and get up, with a shaky body beside her.

I looked at myself in the mirror, the healthy me, pushed aside and the too skinny one here.

I stared at myself some more before tugging at my shirt to wash my mouth out.

"Here." Xion hands me a piece of gum and I take it happily. It tasted like strawberry and mint, mixed with all the other good stuff.

"Thank you, Xion..b-but can we not tell-R-Roxas?" I asked, looking up at her.

"Of course, I wont say anything." Xion held me close as we walk out of the bathroom where Roxas stood, pacing around until he saw us.

"Namine!" He exclaimed and rushed over to me. "Are you okay?" he asked, holding onto the sides of my arms.

I nod quietly and we sit down on the wall, waiting in silence.

Kairi.

"Excuse me, I'll be right back." I tell them and get up to walk into the practice room.

"Nam!" Riku smiles at me, he was there alone. Where was she?

"Where is Kairi?" I ask confused.

"Aww, trying to make me jealous?" He teased, "But, I haven't seen her all day." He says.

"But she told me that she was going to help you with your math homework today." I argue.

"She didn't drop by here, Namine." Riku answers.

Where was Kairi? She wouldn't lie to me! "Thanks, Riku, you're the best." I compliment him and give him a quick hug before saying goodbye.

I find Xion and Roxas in the halls again and trip over my own feet.

"Watch out there!" A kid, who was kind enough to catch me, said. He had firery red hair. I recognized him! Axel! Kairi's brother!

"Axel!" I cry out to the uber tall boy, "Have you seen Kairi?" I asked him.

He shakes his head, "I haven't seen her at all through the day. Only this morning." He replies and walks away.

"What was that about?" Xion appeared next to me.

"I was just asking him something." I tell them and shrug. "Lets get out of here, it's crowded!" I link off of topic and they trail behind me.

* * *

"What? Why me?!" Roxas whines at the teacher who handed him the broom. Apparently he got the new cleaning duty.

"Because you had the worst grade yesterday, it was nice, but poorly attempted. You only made a cookie. ONE cookie. And I saw Namine helping you too. You don't slack in this class!" The teacher scolds him.

Roxas was about to say something back but stopped himself before he got into any more trouble.

I mouth a quiet 'sorry' to him before deciding to make him feel better by making him something to eat for Valentines day tomorrow.

I already made Riku the small cake, so I guess I could get a little creative with Roxas's. Unless he was allergic to anything, this would work out fine.

Riku helped me by this-challenge of Flan. Flan is something sweet and I guess you could say its like well, let me just explain, flan is an open-topped pie, similar to a quiche but, especially in savoury versions, lacking the custard-style filling, it's very sweet and filled with usually fruit or creme.

It suited Roxas. Sturdy and a little crunchy on the outside, yet creamy and sweet on the inside.

Its very delicious.

An easy way to make it would be with condesend mild, sugar, whole milk, and some other key ingriedients.

I applied the caramel glaze over it to complete it and it was beautiful.

Once I was finished I begged the teacher to help Roxas clean to make the process faster, there were only about 13 minutes left until class was over.

"Thank you for helping me." Roxas told me, wiping off several counters.

"Just helping out here." I smirk and when the bell rings, people rush out while I still placed the last cup back into its place.

"Roxas,"I called him over to my table and hold the flan out before him. "Here, for taking the bravery of cleaning for me, and listening to the hag whine at you." I smile and hand it to him.

"Wow, really? Thanks so much! It looks really good." He compliments and puts on his backpack. "Ok, lets go now." He said as I put my backpack on and followed him outisde.

"Where do you live?" I ask him, tilting my head to the side.

"Down the hill." He pointed to the same hill I was walking down.

"Really? I never see you there. I always walk."

"I always use my bike, but today, I forgot to pump it so I couldn't take it.

"Oh." I reply and we start walking down the pavements.

Once we reach my house, I knew it was too good to be true. I didn't want to leave Roxas just yet!

"Well, thank you for this, Namine. It looks great." He said hinting down to what I made for him.

"Your welcome, Roxas." I reply and bow. "I'll see you tomorrow!" I awkwardly wave and he starts walking.

"Hold up!" He calls and turns around.

"Yes?"

He smiled at me, "You know, you can tell me anything, okay?" Roxas was concerned about me? I felt my heart rise.

"Yes, of course." I reply and he was back on his way again.

Made me just much more better.

He helps me get through the day.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5: Might have beens

"Lets hang out tonight!" Xion pulled me into a big hug.

"I'm not so sure I can go..." I mutter again.

She frowned, "Why not? Why can't you go? You have never been to my house!" She whined.

I struggled to say something, "M-my parents are...aren't what you cal very-very...I'm sorry." I quickly say and brace myself from the cold outside. We were walking to school and Xion was telling me how much fun I could have with Roxas and her.

But they didn't understand! My parents are the worst. They are horrible, they never let me go anywhere except for Kairi's house...I am not sure if I want to say the reason yet, because it's really hard for me.

"Come on, can't you like...I don't know, sneak out?" Roxas suggested.

I open my eyes to stare at him. "They would kill me!" I whisper. If I even think about sneaking out I would be in major trouble. And I don't want troublw with my parents. I always know that it will turn out bad...it always turns out bad.

They both frowned. "How about I introduce myself to them? Today after school, we can set it up."

"I would like that." I mumble quietly along side them.

Roxas started talking about videogames and all of his collections and stacks he has at home. It surprised me that they could switch topics so well.

When I moved here, I started sticking out as always because of my parents. They were known to...well, how could I say?

They were thiefs. They only allowed me to go to Kairi's because of her parents...and so, I've been accused of all of these things now a days, I guess I just learned to deal with it all. So where does Riku fit in this exactly? Okay, I'll tell you.

Riku's parents are suppliers. I have no idea how they get all of this illegal stuff and such, but they deal with mine, and Kairi's parents. They sell them the newest of the new.

It wasn't hard for all of us to figure out. I mean, I hate it and I couldn't believe it when I found out that my parents are the ones stealing around this town. It made me feel so weird for some reason. At one point, funny story, I thought I was a stolen child, honestly.

But my point, I don't want any of my friends to meet my parents because they steal from anyone, literally. They don't care who! And I don't want my friends to start thinking the wrong thing and start abandoning me or anything. And my parents also have problems with new friends, they have to know their parents and they need to figure out how much their parents make in a year, money wise, to figure out with how much they could get away with. That was the main reason.

"So what do you think, Namine?" Roxas asked, turning to me.

"What?" I say sudden, snapped out of my thoughts.

"I told you she wasn't paying attention!" He turned towards Xion and laughed. "Pay up!" He demanded and she handed him a 10 dollar bill.

"Awww! I was going to buy something with that later on!" She complained.

Roxas snorted, "You can't get very far with only 10 dollars in this city, Xion, just so you know." He laughed as she pouted and grumbled before herself like an angry infant.

I pass the old abandond store, it was said that this crazy lady owned it and she was performing all of these weird things and practicing her witchcraft in it. She lived here for a long time, and I knew her, she was actuallt very nice.

"Hey, do you guys want to do something fun?" Xions eyes flickered fire as she laid her eyes on the building.

"What?" I ask. We had still a lot of time before school would start because we werer hurrying the way to talk longer.

"I heard all of these things about this old place, I want to know if they're true! Lets go inside!" Xion chimed as she stomps towards the old place with enthusiasm.

"I don't think that's such a good idea..." Roxas stuffed his hands in his pockets. "If you get cought-"

"Stop ruining the mood Roxy!" Xion interrupted him, raising her hand to make him stop talking.

"It's probably locked." Roxas replied. I could tell though, that even he was curious about the place.

Xion started pulling on the handle to make it open. "It wont budge!" She whined loudly. She rattles on it a couple more times.

I step towards them. "Do you really want to get in that badly?" I ask, eyeing both of them. Xion nodded like crazy and her face lit up in happiness.

I pulled out a hairpin, I mean, hey, just because I don't approve of my parents 'job' doesn't mean I didn't learn a few tricks along the way.

"This isn't a movie! How do you expect to open that?!" Roxas exclaimed almost laughing.

I rolled my eyes at him and started picking at the lock. After a few seconds of messing around, it clicked and I opened the door.

Roxas and Xion looked at each other in wonder.

"How did you-" Roxas started but I stopped them.

"Well, here you go." I widen my arms at the sight of the old and dark room.

Xion rubbed her temples and looked down at her wrist. "Is it possible that we can go inside after school? We're going to be late if we go now." Roxas said hesitantly.

"Fine!" Xion pouted and closed the door again.

* * *

"Nami!" Kairi's voice echoed in the hall as she skipped over towards me. "Kairi miss youuu!"

"Where were you yesterday? You weren't with Riku, or in any of your classes. Whats going on?" I ask, again, I have to look up at her, being the smallest.

"I was-lets not talk about it now, okay? Later, I promise! But I have to run now!" She calls before she starts running towards the practice room where Riku was probably waiting.

But she didn't take a left, she took a right. Where was she going? Should I follow her?

I took a step towards her direction before I almost fell over by the impact of Xion screaming.

"Namine! You need to help us!" She screamed and started tugging at my arm.

"What? Whats going on?" I choke out as my breath was knocked out of me. She pulled me all the way, running fast towards one of the halls where a lot of people were standing in, looking in the middle where a large circle was gathered.

"Roxas!" I screach and reach for him, but was pulled back by several other students. Xion was the only one who was able to reach him while I stood outside of the crowd. Worried.

_Why do I have to be so weak?_

Once teachers cleared the way, I saw Roxas for the first time.

He was almost passed out, with bruises on his arm and his shirt ripped. His face had a couple of scratches and he looked so hurt.

I just wanted to run up and hold him. But instead, Xion did that for me and took Roxas to the infirmary's office where the nurse would be waiting and treating him.

Was jealousy building up in my stomach?


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6: Fly around in circles

**A/N**:Just saying this one thing: This is based off of real things- from where? I will not tell, it's confidentual! Everything I mention, really did happen somewhere- sometime, like I said, confidentual stuff here.

* * *

Okay, so let me try to say this again,

I'm...j-je-jealous?

But why should I be? It was nothing more than help, and he needed help.

But I wanted to be the one holding him.

Growing strong, dreaming on. I crave more.

Closer.

Closer.

Closer.

"Roxas! Are you okay? What happened?!" My small legs carry themselves towards Roxas's figure, limping around.

"R-Roxas, wh-what is it?" I ask, reaching out to touch his snaps away and walks right past me, Xion on his side. I swing over to her, "Xion? What is it?"

She looks at me, hurt. "I thought you were our friend." She mumbles and looks away, walking away.

What?

What did I do wrong?

* * *

"Namine, what's upppp?" Kairi danced around me, shaking her hips in a happy mood. "Why the long face? Get a _B+_ on your test? Awww." She teases.

I bite my lip, and frown.

"You're going to trace blood if you keep biting like that." She mentions and pats my shoulder. "What is it?"

"Roxas-and Xion, they-" I start, looking Kairi into her steel eyes.

She raises a hand for me to stop. "Don't worry about them. If they hurt you once, they probably will again." She says.

"But I don't even know why they are mad at me! I didn't do anything to them!" I protest squeaking like a child that I was acting like.

"They're not very nice if they didn't even tell you what you did. Don't wooz your cute little head about it!" She said, ruffeling my hair.

Something about her was-suspicious.

- - - - - - -

I couldn't restrain it when I heard Xion and Roxas in the abandond place that I un-locked this morining. I had to talk to them. It was inevitable to not talk to them.

"What do you think she did in here?" I heard the faint voices from upstairs.

I carried my little legs up the stairs and tried to follow the voices upstairs.

They were turned, back towards me, so they didn't hear me or see me coming at them.

I proceeded to let them know where I was at all cost, I wanted them to see that I was here, that I knew where they were. I wanted an explaination from them.

I knocked on the door and Xion shrieked, grabbing on to Roxas's shirt as they turned to me.

"What are you doing here?" Xion says very slowly.

I fumble for a minute thinking, "I, I needed to talk to you two." I look to the floor.

"About what?" Roxas hissed, stepping towards me in a threatening format. "So that you can spread more rumors about me? So you can let your '_friends_' know how _cool_ you are insulting us?!" He rages.

"I don't know what I did!" I cry loudly, clutching my chest, I've always had problems, keeping my heart still when I was mortified or high on emotion.

"You spread those mean things about Roxas! When another kid started to tease and mock him about it, Roxas snapped and thats how the fight went on!" Xion walks towards me but Roxas pulls her back.

"She knows what happened." He assure her.

"But I don't, Roxas, I don't!" I scream at them, scared and angry. Sad and hurt. "What are you saying?"

"You mean, what did Kairi say? The person I was in a fight with was Axel." Roxas glared. "Yes, her brother!"

I shake my head, "But I still don't understand!"

They both proceede to walk towards the door I was right next to, "Oh, but you do, I know you do." Roxas hisses as he passes me.

I stay still. Listen to the door close, sink down to the floor.

And cry.

* * *

I close the windows curtains and stride towards my closet.

Hiding place.

I hear the scream downstairs, hear the yells of threat.

I've had it. I've yelled at them about it before. I told them all of it! I told them how hard I was working before, ho much I wanted them to stay together.

But my opinion doesn't matter.

It still went on and I had problems. I developed paranoia.

Now they're screaming and I gave up.

No more yelling, _"JUST GET A DIVORCE!"_ No more crying and pleading for them to stop. No more of it all. I gave up. If they think I would do this again then they would be wrong. So wrong they would be...

The sound of breaking glass. The sound of a bloody scream. The sound of death.

My eyes go wide and stay in horror as I lean under my bed sheets and hold my ears to block all sounds.

"Why don't they just leave each other alone?" I ask myself.

I hear the door slamming shut, the car starting.

It's over for today.

I walk downstairs and listen to the sobs, leading me to the door, closed off.

No knocks this time, I will not do it.

I will only cry again.

- - - - - - -

"Hey, how's it goin'?" Kairi stormed towards me, I felt 2 familiar looks on my back as I did not even dare to look behind me.

"Family. I hate it." I quietly spoke, trying to push it out of the way.

"Hey, did you hear-" She started.

I remembered, Roxas, Xion.

"Stop." I order her, standing still in my tracks, not moving forward with her as she turns back to look at me in wonder.

"What is it?" She asked, furrowing her eyebrows.

"You- what did you do?!" I cry and almost shout at her loudly, clutching her shoulders.

Kairi tilted her head. "What do you mean?"

"You said those things about Xion and Roxas! You spread it?! WHY?" I cry. "Don't you want me to be happy at all?" I restrain the tears from falling.

I let my hands fall from Kairi's shoulders. "Namine, I was trying to protect you. Sometime, you'll understand." Kairi spoke, between her clenched teeth.

"From what?! FROM HAVING A LIFE?! OTHER FRIENDS?" I scream at her and turn to run away.

How could she do this to me?


	7. Chapter 7

_**Chapter 7: Like Violence**_

"I think that's stupid." I cross my arms over my chest, glaring at the school's health principal.

"We're sorry, but you can no longer attend and do sports, you can't do gym anymore. We'll have to cut some of you classes for therapy. We warned you to gain weight, you didn't. So we have no choice, we only want what is best for our students, Namine, please understand." Her heavy makeup was colored funny, making her look so fake, her words were already fake anyways.

"There is nothing here to understand! If you cared, then you would know the problem! But you don't! You don't know anything! And don't pretend you do because in the end, it will only hurt me more. It's pathetic! It makes me sick!" I scream and that was it. I ran out of the office and down the hall.

How could they say they only wanted the best for me? They don't know what others are doing, but they keep snooping in the wrong people's business.

Such idiots!

I'd ask if I felt the same about the situation if I were someone else. Someone like Xion or Roxas maybe? But whatever, they don't care anymore and all because of my life long friend. Well, I thought she was however.

"Namine! Hold up!" I heard the silver haired boy running towards me. "Where are you going? What's going on between you and Kairi exactly?" He pants, supporting his body on his legs, but not doing a very splendid job.

"Why, she must have told you all of the details already, right?" I smirk weakly up at him.

"Well, I wanted to hear from you." Riku offered and walked next to me.

"I-I...my life...it's tearing apart ever so slowly. I can't even explain everything. It's not going to work."

I knew it wouldn't.

It was too long, too surreal.

"I'm always here to listen." Riku turns me so I was looking at him. "You can talk to me, remember?"

"I won't if you don't tell me, what Kairi said about me, Riku."

He chuckled lightly, "Ah, that, hm, let me see, she said that she was protecting you and that you didn't understand it yet. I think she's just very confused herself."

I nodded my head in dis-satisfaction.

"Are you ready to talk to me now? You don't have to, you can tell me any time at school." Riku rambles on and on.

"No, you can't." I stop in my tracks, head steady and prepared to talk to him about my school-too-light-problem.

The albino boy frowned and tilted his head, having his silver locks swing to his right side,"What? Why not?"

"I'm not going to be able to go to my classes. Which classes? I don't know, but I'll only have 3 instead of 6 periods."

"But why?!" Riku almost shouted. Placing his hands on my shoulders, it fit perfectly, he could probably fit two of me, in his arms. Literally.

"Because of this- I'm under weight. I'm apparently too weak and need help."

"But you were always so small and bony." He comments.

Who was I fooling? Not even myself. I knew that I was un-healthy already.

"No, I am not, I need help, underneath all of these layers of clothing, I am someone with a problem. I have issues with food. Is that what you want to hear?!" I start crying and running away from him.

Why though? Why was I running from him? Why did I think it was his fault?

It was my fault for saying that, I did this to myself.

I really convince myself that I'm alright, but I'm not, I know I'm sick. I look up all of these things about anorexia and bulimia and other eating disorders, I see what the people look like and if I don't stop, I will look like that too.

It's sickening.

* * *

I look in the mirror, I see someone who I don't want to see.

The tape measurer tells me that I'm 5ft, 1 in. tall.

I stand on the little device, that will tell me my weight now.

I'm scared as the little thing goes bouncing up and down as it beeps and calculates.

I couldn't look at it. I cover my eyes and jump off of it, only in short shorts and a tank top I tremble towards my door.

No. I have to see.

I force myself a strain of stepping on the device.

Beeping noises once more, rising numbers, lowering numbers. I peek from underneath my eyelids.

The shock. The terrifying truth.

It said it right there.

84 lbs.

Sickening me.

I cover my mouth from letting out a scream, possibly ruining me. No wait, it already ruined me. I ruined myself, mesed myself up.

The tears run down my face, I hick up and sob, it wouldn't leave me alone, I had to cry.

The phone rings, I stare at it in shock. The call is coming from-

**Xion K.**

I reach out to it. Pick it up and press speaker. I couldn't hold it to my ear. I was too mortified with myself.

"Hello?" She asks on the other line.

"Y-Yes?" I ask trying to sound confident, as if I haven't been crying my heart out.

"Is-, hold up! Are you crying?!" She says concerned.

"N-No..." I hesitantly answer, but a small cough and tear stained shirt tells me otherwise.

"You are! Don't argue! I can tell!" She shouts through the phone. Yep, I was definaletly not holding that phone to my ear.

I try to think of a subject to get off of the topic. "Wh-Why did you call, Xion?" I ask softly, wiping my eyes.

"I was going to tell you that it all blew over."

"What do you mean?"

"Roxas and I talked, we thought about it, wrote about it, we both learned that we're not going to be like this. We're not going to do this to you. I just wanted to let you know."

Her words stunned me. Astounded me. Lovely words.

"Hey." The voice I loved interrupted. "How are you?" He asked.

We must've been on 3 way. Did he say nothing in hopes of me saying something about them? To catch me in something?

"G-Great." I franticly say. "Uhm, I have to tell you two something."

"What is it?" They almost said in unision, I was so nervous, it was if I was seeing and talking to them in person.

"I'm not going to see you as much anymore." I swallow hard and hold my breath.

"WHAT!? Are you moving or something?!" Xion's voice ringed in the phone.

"No. But, it's just that...I feel more comfortable telling you in person, so, tomorrow okay? Bye." I hesitantly rush and push the red button indicating I was hanging up on them.

Breathing heavily, I sit down on the edge of my bed.

Groaning in my head, outloud, it doesn't matter.

But what did matter, was that I was afraid, I was going to tell them the truth.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8: If I die tonight for love

"Namine?" The soft velvety voice asked quietly. Approaching me closely.

I turned to face him, now, not only him, but her too. She kind of knew some of the things happening around me. But then again, Kairi knows much more than Xion about my life and habbits.

"Yes?" I ask innocently, shifting heel to toes on my shoes, outside as the wind blew quietly.

"Are you ready to tell us?" Xion asks, coming close to me.

"Please, I have to tell you the whole thing, if I say anything at all." I start, turning around completely.

They both shuffled closer to me, "We're all ear here."

I let out a small _'of course'_ before opening my lips, hanging my head so that I could stare at the pavements the whole way through. As if telling the story to myself.

"About a year ago, "I pause, swallowing, _this is it. This is whats going to happen now I had to continue at this point already_, "Some things happened, and I had a very bad time. My parents, they- they constantly fought, violently ending in hurting me when I was in the way of them almost killing each other. It left a trauma on me." I inhale deeply.

They were taking this easier.

"It never stoped, so, I got so scared I tried to run away, but they got me again. Afterwards they started telling me how bad I am, how much I don't appreciate them. But how am I supposed to appreciate the yelling, screaming, and fighting? I just wanted to be taken away from them. However, they always argued about simple things. Some things never changed between them."

Sighing, I continue, "I started trying to be invisible, and it worked, I was ignored. So, I stopped doing certain things with them. Like telling them about important events at school. Because I knew, that somehow I would just start some kind of fight with them. Well, however, I couldn't do it anymore when I made a mistake. After I was cought, I was punished."

"It mentally made me kind of crazy and I needed help. I couldn't get it so I started eating less and less, hating myself, hating the way I look. I didn't like any of it. Maybe if I were prettier, I would be loved. But I just turned out as un-healthy that I am now. That's why, I'm not going to be able to attend most of my classes, I can't participate in 3 of them. 2 at a max. But still, I did this myself. Irrelevantly my fault."

After a long silence, I wasn't even done yet, but I just stopped, Roxas parted his lips.

"How much do you weigh?" He asks softly, almost a whisper.

That was the question I didn't want anyone to know the answer of. The question I didn't like anyone to know. I was scared for the answer myself.

"Roxas, I'm 15, almost 16 years old, height 5'1, and I weigh 84 pounds." I announce, not proud of myself at all.

Should I tell them the rest?

Xion looked like she was about to cry. Her eyes puffed up in sad pearls. Her cheeks flushed a red that matched with her lips.

"And-if I keep it up, I will probably die once I turn 17." I add.

* * *

The rain plastered my face and the cold made it worse, I would probably end up sick, but like it even matters.

If only I were normal, but then again, what exactly is normal in the first place?

I closed the door behind me, quietly, so that the monsters wouldn't hear me and hurt me. Sneaking out was against the rules, but I bet that they knew that I was gone anyways.

The attic, was quiet, the attic was my friend. The large window that was always blocked by some kind of paper, never letting the sun come in.

But then again, what sun? It only rained in this place, not like it was any better in the city or anything. I always left a change of clothes out in case of days like these. I changed into a warmer and dry dress despite my dripping hair, everything was fine.

I huddled by the window and gathered my strentht to rip down that huge piece of paper, blocking the view.

Light streamed in the room now, making me feel better and less crowded, clawing myself and sitting on the small antique couch that my parents had stolen before but never used, because what do you know? They stole it from the neighbors who constantly visited and it would be noticeable if all of a sudden there's a couch missing and we end up having-guess what? A new couch.

I just let my eyes drift slowly, trying to wither away and stay hidden for as long as I could.

_Klat Klat_

_Klat Klat_

_KLAT KLAT!_

I jump up from the stolen vinage piece imported from france some time to try and hide in the attic somewhere. So many options.

_Klat klat._

The door made more noises of knocking, like heay crystals breking a top of it beautifuly.

"Get out here right now!" The monsters demanded.

I obeyed, as soon as I closed the door to the attic behind me.

_SMACK_

Striked across the face.

I didn't dare raise my hand to place on my redenning cheek. It would only aggrivate them.

"Now get downstairs and tell that boy to get off of this property! In fact, just GO and don't come back today!" My father demanded loudly, threateningly having his fists up in a ball, ready to actually hit me harder.

I scurried downstairs quickly to open the door.

"What the hell are you doing here?!" I ask hissing rather.

I spun my neck around to catch a glance back at my father.

_'Out_' he mouthed for me to leave.

Barefoot, in a dress, I stepped outside, bracing myself from the cold.

"Did I do something wrong?" He asks furrowing his eyebrows.

I shook my head, he didn't need to know right this instance. "Let's, lets go to your house." I say quickly.

"My parents aren't going to be home until next week on friday." Roxas says confused.

"Great! Lets just leave leave leave...Now, Roxas." I ushered him from the place.

Holding in the pain of stepping on something sharp I follow him quickly, pushing him on to leave this place.

"Lets go, go, go. Away from here..." I muttered paranoid, with wide eyes.

Roxas looked at me with concern in his blue eyes, I think he understood what just happened to me, I mean, they just kicked me out!

How sweet he was.

* * *

"You can change into some of my clothes, I bet I have a shirt or two, hmm, and pants-err." He paused, turning a bright shade. "The only things I could imagine fitting you would probably be...my-my-" He swallowed.

"I really don't care if they are your boxers, Roxas, as long as I can have a blanket I'll be fine, I swear, thanks again for having me here. I'm sorry if I'm a little in the way or anything." I apoligize sheepishly.

He nodded quietly and gestured for me to go upstairs with him. "I have a closet full of-variety you can choose from T-shirts or anything." He says, opening his closet to reveal all of the clothes he held inside of it.

"Thanks." I say and kneel down to fish out anything.

I guess a black and white checkered shirt with his name on it and a pair of blue "shorts" as I would prefer to call them, more than boxers, just saying that-in case of awkwardness.

"I'm going to-you know-uh-change, Roxas." I tell him and he runs out of the room leaving a giggeling me, behind.

I never knew I was this skinny. I mean, the boxers still fit hipwise, but the shorts part of them had my skinny legs sticking out of them. I was pale, and I was skinny, too skinny.

But at least the shirt helped a little.

Once I was dressed-somewhat...I made my way downstairs, Roxas was looking through the cabinets for food-

He is very considerable.

"Namine! I was wondering, do you prefer any types of food?" He asks, rubbing the back of his spiky blond hair.

"I like Oreos." I say flatly like a robot.

Roxas laughed, **"**Sure, we can have that later, but-how about I make something real quick? Does french fries sound good to you? What about a milkshake too! I'm so hungry!" He groweled, digging through the freezer and eventually retreaving a bag of fries from it. "You can make a milkshake, right? I have some stuff you can use for it, basically just ice cream and milk mixed together in my mixer. But believe me, it's great!**"** Roxas cheers happily, setting the oven to 250 degrees.

"I can do that." I say quietly, it must be easy. "What kind of ice cream flavors do you want?" I ask curiously eyeing him secretly from behind my bangs.

"Butter Pecan-sounds good to me!" He shakes around and waits for his oven to heat up. Placing the potatoe streaks on a tray he shoves it in the oven giving off heat that felt very warm.

Butter Pecan ice cream it is then.

- - - - - - -

"You eat it like that?!" Roxas asks horrified at what I was doing.

I was dipping my fries in my milkshake. "What? It all ends up the same place anyways."

"Yeah, but I didn't think that you would...you know-"

"Roxas, I have a problem with food, yes, but that doesn't mean that I **don't **eat fatty food. Just not all the time." I answer him.

"I want to try! I've heard of it, but I never actually gave it a shot!" He says enthusiasticly dipping his french fry in his milkshake.

I turned to his lit up expression, guessing that he like it and it tastes-good- I believe he liked it.

"Good, isn't it?" I ask, getting up once I was done. "Do I just put this in the dish washer?" I suggest pointing to it, he nodded and I proceeded to do so.

"I liked it." Roxas answered, also placing his empty plate in the dish washer.

"I know, right?! Wow-I'm tired now..." I sigh and fall on to the couch.

"Do you want to sleep now? Well, I guess it kind of is late." He says looking at the clock.

11:02 pm.

When did it get that late?

"Will you be okay down here? Night Namine." He asks, turning off the lights.

The dark. The monsters. The dark, so cold. But I didn't want to trouble him. "No-No, I'm fine, completely fine. Good night." I hear my voice drift softer and softer, trying to convince myself that I would be okay until he was gone, and all of the lights in the house were off.

I sat in the dark, having my eyes adjust to the dark so I could see, so I can be warned once anything happens.

I give in, I am very very very paranoid about this subject, I can't stay in the dark alone for too long. It's too scary.

I have to get some sleep. I have to get some sleep.

Scary images wouldn't leave me, but I had to overcome this.

_*Namine's dream*_

_"What had brought this?" Figures I knew all stood in black. Gathered here._

_What was going on?_

_I look around, down to myself, I was the only one wearing white._

_"I never knew this was going to happen, I never hoped this was going to happen." More voices cried and pleaded._

_Why was I the only one wearing white while they were all wearing black?_

_"It's hard to look in her face now." Someone sobbed._

_The isle cleared. I saw a coffin up the stairs._

_I walk up there._

_Surrounding me, was everyone I knew, in black._

_I stared in the face of impossible._

_She was wearing white._

_**I** was the only one in white._

_*END OF NAMINE'S DREAM*_

I woke up immeaditaly. My eyes set stare.

I had a dream I was at my own funeral for gods sake! I couldn't go on this night!

I hugged myself before convincing myself to do something about it.

My legs carried myself upstairs, there I saw him-Roxas laying there.

Not sleeping.

He was staring right at me with opened eyes.

"Roxas, I-I'm sorry, but-b-but- I can't sleep well. I'm...sort of...it's embaressing to say this- I'm scared of the d-da-dark." I stutter with a red face.

He didn't speak, he just lifted the covers of his bed for me.

I snuck towards it and got in. Once I felt his warm skin against my icy cold one, I was frightened I scared him.

"Wow, you're freezing cold." He whispers against my skin.

"Is this alright? Are you sure?" I ask again and again.

Roxas rolled his eyes, "Of course, you're my best friend, I don't want you sitting downstairs alone, scared out of your mind." He grumbled.

I turned so that I was facing him, looking into his eyes.

"Why were you wide awake?" I allow myself to say.

He pursed his lips. "I was trying to hear you. You were talking in your sleep I believe." He blinks a couple of times.

"Oh. I'm sorry I woke you up." I consently add.

"Thats okay. I was sort of surprised that you came here though."

"How so?" I ask raising an eyebrow.

"Just because I'm a boy, and I never thought that you would actually dare be in this bed with me." He says matter of fact.

I gasped quietly. "I-I just thought that I was so-so-nevermind." I shake my head.

A blond hair of mines stroked my cheek, Roxas chuckled. "You look like a doll."

"I get that a lot." I answer in a monotone voice.

"Aha. But I believe, if you don't heat up, I'm going to have to kick you out. You-You- Penguin!" He said playfully.

"I can't help it! I can't change that!" I protest against him squeaking.

He waited for a while. Gazing at me. **"**But I can.**" **Roxas answers in a serious tone.

I shuddered at my cold body, but wonder struck me.

Roxas's arms slung around my extremely tiny frame, and I felt his warm body against mine.

"Now you only have to warm up!" He says, not looking in my face anymore. If he did, he would probably see my blushing facial expression.

Sooner or later, I relaxed into his hold and adjusted my head to fit with his.

Taking in the scent he had. Something like a wintery themed sweet.

My poor little heart jumped in realization, I was here! With Roxas, in his bed! And despite the fact that that just sounded completely wrong on so many ways- I was so comfortable!

Was this the ice cream and fries? Maybe the nightmare came to my head.

Or was it just the fact that-

I believed I was in love with him.


	9. Chapter 9

_Chapter 9: He keeps me Hanging on_

I was councious, but I didn't want to get up just yet, enjoy the moment and possible fall asleep in these arms once more.

I heard chuckles from the throat right next to my forehead.

Was he awake? I peeked open one eye to see Roxas looking down at me.

"Hey there." He says, waving at me with his left hand.

I sprung up from embaressmnet of being cought by him! I never intended on him finding out that I was sneaking extra time into this! No! How freaking embaressing!!!

"Good morning to you too." Roxas pouted as I landed on my buttox very hard, trying to get away from his bed as far as I could.

"I-I'm so-sorry!" I cry, furrowing my eyebrows and scolding myself.

Oh the horror of having extreme silence between just laughed and shook his head, leading me downstairs to the kitchen. "We don't want you to starve now, right?" He joked. "But, I don't really feel like cooking, want to hit starbucks?"

"Sure." I nod quietly beside him.

We barged back upstairs, trying to figure out something for me to wear.

"Oh I know!" Roxas sprung up picking through the more 'abandond' part of his closet. "You can cut these up!" He suggested throwing a pair of jeans towards me. "I wore those when I was about 13, they must fit you now." Roxas grinned and handed me a pair of scissors.

After finally managing to cut them to fit me, I sid inside of them, but yeah, I still needed a belt from him. Afterwards I borrowed a hoodie sweatshirt from him that said his name on the back including a 13, don't ask me.

"Thank you." I bowed to him quickly and soon we were off inside the city. "Hey! Roxas, we already passed about 3 starbucks! Where are we going?"

"My favorite one." Roxas smiled and led me towards another one of the multiple shops you would find every single corner.

When we walked inside, I never would've thought that it was Xion behind the cashier desk.

"Roxas! Namine! Surprise to see you two here! I'll get break soon." She announced and hurried around the counter to hug us.

"Yeah, yeah, just fix me an espresso." Roxas said in dire mood.

Xion smirked, "You still have to pay, this one is not coming out of my paycheck!" She stuck out her tounge and smiled as Roxas shamefuly handed her some money after I ordered a Strawberry Frappecino.

Roxas and I sat down near by and held a small talk conversation, leaving it away from the topic of this morning.

Xion soon joined us on on the conversation.

"So...Namine..." Xion started smiling widely. "I think that guy over there is checking you out." Xion winked at me.

Roxas stiffened at that but soon relaxed after looking around. "Who are you talking about?" He hissed at Xion.

"Well dont be so loud and obvious! Stop looking around like a watchdog! You'll notice if you just keep your eyes away from looking around!" Xion whispered back at Roxas.

"What does he look like?" I ask.

"He has-aww he just walked away!" Xion frowned glaring at Roxas. "You used your guy-code thingie and made him dissapear with your meanie attitude!" Xion whined.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"You stared him down and were giving him the eye." Xion said with convintion/

"The eye?" Roxas asked, snorting.

"Yes, THE eye..." She continued and poked Roxas in his side which made him almost fall over.

They were so silly.

* * *

"So what do you want to do now?" Roxas asked me once we got home again, Xion alongside with us.

"Lets go to that creepy house!" Xion cheered bouncing up and down.

"I don't like being in there, its hella creepy." Roxas shuddered.

The black haired girl slapped his arm with force. "Roxas you wimp! There is no such thing! Be a man!"

To be honest though, I didn't really want to go back there either. I had a bad feeling with all of that snooping around in there. I have before, but I couldn't even stay in there for 5 minutes. I ran out as soon as possible. The only reason I was actually willing to step into that house was because Xion and Roxas were inside and I wanted to apoligize.

"Don't be such a bad sport! Lets go over there! Adventure!" She started dragging us both outside and back to the entrance of the house.

She marched inside like it was no big deal. Then the crazy energetic girl opened and explored every single door of that place, with Roxas and I dragging our feet behind her.

"Hey, Roxas, why don't you look inside this one for a minute!" Xion pushed him inside a random room and closed the door right behind him, making sure he didn't get out.

"Let me out of here!" Roxas whined.

From behind the banging door, Xion was holding it closed. "You got to investigate as Namine and I talk about something real quick." She smiled at me, I hear Roxas groan and mutter some things as things quieted down.

"Which is?" I ask, tliting my head.

"You like Roxas, don't you?" She asked in a whisper for only me to hear.

"No." I answer immeadiatly in awe.

Wait, why did I just lie! I mean, hold up-was I lying?

"Sooo..." She trailed. "You wouldn't mind if...if maybe..I go for him?" She pleaded and winced at her own words.

What am I supposed to say now? Naturally, aren't I supposed to say _'of course' _to be a good friend? But...I wasn't sure!

"Uhm...no- I wouldn't." I let my lips escape in a thin line, flicking my tounge inside my mouth on the 't' on the end.

"Great!" She smiled and let go of the door which Roxas stumbled out on, immeadiatly.

- - - - - - -

"I think it will be okay for me to go home now." I say and take off Roxas's sweatshirt.

"You can borrow that until you get home." Roxas smiled widely and patted me on the back, turning towards the door to say goodbye to me.

"Bye." I wave at both Xion and Roxas, by the way-Xion winked. Anyways, I left and proceeded to go back to my own house.

"Where have you been?! We've been so worried!" My parents took me in their arms.

"I'm sorry." I told them. "I was at my friends house, I thought I told you." I lie. They couldn't handle the truth.

"Hm, ,maybe we forgot." They shrugged and continued with their business.

But there was a thing worrying me, bothering me. The fact that Xion had an interest for Roxas, and that I agreed to let her have her go at him. I never intended for this to occur! I didn't want Roxas and Xion together. I wanted to be with Roxas.

To occupy myself from that subject I tried getting some art work done, but all I managed to draw was a sad picture, dark colors, until out of nowhere I figured out a pattern in each. I drew a person in each picture, but the newer the picture, the closer the person was.

I soon recognized that I was drawing myself, surrounded in all of those dark colors. It didn't help, in fact, it made it worse

I groaned inside of my pillow in the attic where I would stay, wearing Roxas's too-big-sweatshirt/hoodie he lent me. So warm, comforting. Smelling just like him.

He is the one I have to remeber.

* * *

**You have 1 new voice message**

I checked my phone the next morning, waking up from sleeping on the stolen antique couch in the attic, it wasn't that much comfortable, but the jacket of Roxas made me sleep so well, despite my sore back and all.

It was already 4:13pm, and I couldn't believe that I slept for that long! Well then again, I was up late that night.

My groggy eyes looked down at the screen on my phone and called myself to acess my voicemail.

I dialed in my password: Take_On_Me

I know, but it was based on my favorite song of the 80's, great song. Love it.

Then I held the phone to my ear to listen to what it had said.

_"Hey Namine, it's Roxas, I guess I'm just...really confused right now-and I need to talk to you like..right away, so please give me a call when you have time, 'kay, bye."_

What did he want? It bothered me, the way he sounded so depressed and sad on the voice mail.

He never sounded this bad. I had to call him.

So I dialed the digits.

Waited for someone to pick up.

"Namine? I really need your help." Roxas said in a dark tone

"Roxas, whats going on?" I asked urgently.

My heart fell low when he sighed on the phone.

But it shattered when he spoke the following words.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter ten: I would go through hell for you.

**Previously:**

_"Namine? I really need your help." Roxas said in a dark tone_

_"Roxas, whats going on?" I asked urgently._

_My heart fell low when he sighed on the phone._

_But it shattered when he spoke the following words._

"Y-You can tell me Roxas." I sounded strained and that wasn't the fact that I was clawing at my ohone with both of my hands either.

There was a long pause. "I don't know what to do...I-I sort of like this girl, and she likes me back, but then I also like this other girl."

"Who are you talking about?" I strained some more.

"I'm talking about Xion and Olette." Roxas breathed.

Why was I crying silently...why wasn't I one of those two... Why not me?

"Namine, you still there?" He asks.

"Y-Yeah." I struggle, swallowing hard.

"So, what should I do? They both asked me out. I don't know what to do." Roxas franticly exclaimed.

"Lets meet at the park." I tell him. "Now." I add and hang up the phone.

Letting my head fall in between my arms I quiver in pain of knowing that he doesn't even like me. It hurts more than I ever thought it would. If I just go away then I could stop the pain. I was only his best friend to him. Nothing more. But I felt like it was much more.

Taking my jeans jacket, I step out of the attic and into the halls. My parents were both gone, so this would be the perfect opportunity to leave.

And with my mother and father being gone, would mean that I wouldn't hear from them until next week from their little "Vacation spot", and yes, they sometimes just take off without a word.

I wished I would have worn something better than this, it started raining really hard and I had no hood, forcing the rain to soak my hair and my face. But either way, I couldn't blow Roxas off, so I still went to the park.

I saw his figure standing by the swings, he was early, but he did have a hood on from his sweat jacket.

"Hey." He says quietly.

"Hi." I answer and stand before him.

"So, what did you want to talk about?" Roxas asked with his adorable smile that today, didn't look so happy anymore.

"Well, you like Xion and Olette, correct? And needless to say that they like you too." My voice was high pitched and staggering, so he could tell that something was very very wrong.

"Namine, you're going to get sick standing like that! Here." Roxas switched off topic and handed me his sweatshirt.

"I don't get sick easily Roxas," I lie. "But you, I have a feeling, that you'll need that." I smile sadly looking up at him.

He frowned, but either way accepted my decision. "What's going on?" He places his hand on my shoulder. I bet he could feel my bone already.

I coughed before I spoke down to the ground. "What if...what if I-" my voice staggered much more, I couldn't say it. I had to lie.

He looked down at me with his pale ever-on-going eyes. "Just say it."

That's easy for you to say! He's not about to confess to Xion or Olette or something. "I'm sorry for wasting your time." I shake my mind out of my confessing mood and stood stiff, eyes wide and fake smile plastered on my pale face.

"A-Are you sure?" He asks, furrowing his eyebrows.

His concern made me flutter, it made me want to take the feeling away. "Y-Y-Yes." I whisper, but in denial, a tear flooded down my face.

He said nothing. He didn't say a word, but he could see my embaressed red face, spilling my tears away.

"I'm okay." I tell him more lies, more wet tears falling down.

No words from him again. He stepped towards me, arms ready to hold me. He was going to hold me. Me.

"I'm sorry Roxas, I'm sorry it's not me." I almost shout before turning and running away.

* * *

What did I do?! How could I say that! I was acting so stupid! What am I going to do now? How am I going to speak to him, what if I made such a fool of myself he never wants to talk to me again?

If.

What.

If.

Those words never cured anything. They probably never will either.

- - - - - - -

"Namine! Namine! Hey! Over here!" Xion's voice cheered and waved me towards herself. Her face was bright pink and her big blue eyes wide in happiness. Her long legs shuffeling to me

In honesty, I didn't want to face her at all. But I still turned around and practiced my fake smile as best as I could.

"Yes?" I pitch my voice extra high just in case.

"Guess what!" I couldn't stand when people played the 'guess what?' game, they don't want you to answer anyways, so what was the point?

"What?" I played along with her because that is what she wanted me to do.

"Roxas and I are finally together!" She squealed towards me.

I don't approach her. Instead, I turn around to run into the bathroom.

Locking myself in one of the stalls, I start crying and sobbing.

I never wanted this to happen, I never wanted anything like this! Crying wouldn't help the situation but I knew that I couldn't do anything else.

Roxas-Roxas-Roxas. He likes someone else, he's with someone else.

I'm not in the picture anymore. They will soon only be together, and now I'll be stuck alone. They will forget all about me now.

"Namine-are you okay?" I heard her voice knocking on the stall door.

I edged farther from the stall door. Crawling up to push myself against the opposite side of the place she was at.

"It's me, Roxas and I are worried about you. Tell us whats going on." Xion tried saying again.

"Give me a reason to be happy." I mutter, not wanting her to hear that.

"Hmm, be happy to be alive!" She answers. She must have the ears of a bat!

"I'm going to die either way." I snap louder, meant for her to hear this time.

"My point, appreciate this time now."

"I want to wither away, maybe I can-lets try it out right here right now." I hiss with definate venom in my voice.

"Stop saying that you want to die! Don't make me go in there!" She warned like a mother would warn an 9 year old having a fit.

"There's no one waiting for me, you both are sooner or later going to leave me." I whine loudly.

"As much as it hurts me to say this name but- Kairi, and Riku will be there for you, they'll miss you. And Roxas and I would never leave you!" Xion was getting upset about this.

She gasped, loudly. Her voice stopped and I couldn't see her shadow anymore.

"X-Xion?" I ask quietly.

I reached towards the doors lock but instead it busted right open, I covered my ears, staring at the fallen door beside me. Then up to the person who was capable of doing this.

Roxas stared down at me with dark eyes. Balled up fists and all.

He heaved me up with ease and dragged me out of the girls bathroom that he invaded. Dragging me away from all of the staring kids in our way. It wasn't like I could resist, I was too weak-which I hated.

"Now!" Roxas almost shouted. "Tell me what the hell is going on!"

We were alone, behind the school, and I was scared. I bit my lip and was ready to turn around to walk away but Roxas pulled me back forcefuly.

"I am not patient with all of this _'silence' _stuff." He groweled.

"Sorry for making you angry." I apoligize and try to turn time, he pushed me against the wall, holding me in place so I couldn't eyes darkened, although his lips were filled in a sad frown.

"I heard everything you told Xion back in there! What the hell?!"

"It was true." I say quietly, looking down to the floor, examining his tight grip on my shoulders.

"Damn it, Namine, what am I going to do with you?! You better not be pulling one of these _'have sympathy' _for me tricks. It's god damn wrong! It's not helping if you don't talk to us!"

"Roxas, please let me go, it hurts." I cry, pushing against his force.

He didn't move. "You will answer me this I'll say it nice and clear, what-is-going-on!?" He shouted, making me flinch.

The tears filled in my eyes, not from the pain of being held here, but the pain of him being concerned of me, but I'm sure he'll distance from me if he knew the truth.

"Please." He lowered his voice. "You're my best friend, you have got to tell me this." He begged and pleaded.

His words were making me-making me...**"I wish it were me. That's it. I wish it was me. ME! ME! ME! Why wasn't it ME?!" **I scream at the top of my lungs, crying tears that wouldn't come out before.

"Namine, are you talking abo-" Roxas's hold on me losened and his arms fell to his side.

"YES! God damnit! I am!" I scream and run away before he could catch me again.

I can't do this, my love to him is like chasing Pavements. No use, it will end either way.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter: End up with you at a curb

I've been hiding from everyone. I didn't want them to be around me like that.

No one at home as always. No one there to care about me. Only me and my imagination.

Knocks on my door made my head snap in its direction. I swung the door open to see who was feeling like disturbing me right now.

Open door.

Roxas.

Close door.

"Let me in DAMMIT!" He screached, pulling on the edge of the door.

"The neighbors are staring!" I hiss back.

"Just let me in!" Roxas complained. "Do you think that I am not capable of getting in there?!" He warns.

I let go of the door handel and Roxas stumbles in on the floor.

The neighbors across the street stare in confusion and I just smile and wave, closing the door as quickly as possible.

"What do you want." I said, sounding more like a demand.

"I was just here to see how you were doing..." He trailed off. I couldn't deny that the fact was that he was still making my heart jump.

"If I wanted to hang out with YOU then I would obviously wouldn't have closed the door on you." I smirk and turn around to walk into the living room.

Roxas returned the insult. "Who said I wanted to hang out with a ditz like you?"

I knew he didn't mean it that way but I still shot him a glare. "Are you thirsty?" I ask him with a groan just to be friendly to ask.

"Nope." He smiled and trailed off back to the door to leave. When he opened the door and stepped out I ran right after him.

"WAIT!" I shout, holding the door open. "Where are you going?!" I frown.

"I thought you wanted me to leave." He smiled cockily, raising one eyebrow.

He just cought me! That idiot!

I studdered over my words before looking him in the eyes, his blue eyes. "Don't you have like...XION to flirt with or soemthing?" I screach and slam the door shut.

Why am I so weird?

Sinking to the floor, burrying myself by my arms I wonder if he is the one waiting for me on the other side.

* * *

Due t the weekend, I haven't seen anyone at all. I personally do kind of miss them, but then again I don't.

But at the moment I do.

Because I'm being stalked by this group of boys. I do know them if you have to ask and I don't know what they want from me.

"Check it out check it out! Look who this is!" A roaring voice followed me.

_Don't worry Namine, they're just idiots, please don't stop and turn around._ I told myself over and over again. But I couldn't deny the fact that they were right behind me, calling my name.

"Come back! Entertain us!" They continue.

They wouldn't hurt me, right? They never did. Well not since the last time I looked them in the eyes.

"You're irritating us now!" Some more hollered after me. "_Namine, Namine, we know you're so easy! Come on! Please us!"_

I wish they would stop. They were scaring me and it was dark. And I don't even know what I'm doing at this time at night.

When I run out of places to go to, all places were abandond. So I might as well be found in an alley. So thats where I go, in hope to find streetlights and carlights who will save me.

But the monsters are faster.

"You wouldn't leave, would you now?" They said slickly in my ear.

"You must be mistaken me for someone else. I need to leave now." I struggle and keep walking. They pace beside me.

"We can go public with this too. We don't care, if thats what you prefer however-we'll see you at you school tomorrow when you get out.

I knew they would. I knew they would be there tomorrow.

* * *

"What's the matter? You seem so jumpy." Kairi touched my shoulder, I didn't realize I was shaking so hard.

"You can't walk home with me today, okay?" I tell her with a quiet expression.

13 minutes left.

"Why not?! I want to!" She cried. "I need to make sure you eat at home!" She proudly patted her own shoulder.

_Once they're done with me, the only thing I will be eating is dirt._

11 minutes left.

"I'm sorry, but I have something to do and..don't you have after school detention?"

She stared at me with strange eyes. "You honestly believe I still go there?" She said and hugged me before packing her stuff.

6 minutes left.

When did time pass so fast?

I didn't want Kairi with me, I wanted her to go to detention so she wont have to see me after school, surrounded by peers, watching me while the show went out after school.

3 minutes.

Stupid time, stupid bell.

I hope they all realize that they'll soon find an article about me because I will be gone and they will know that this is my last day.

I will be great news- _The dead quiet girl beaten to death by a group, while peers stare and let it happen._

I bet the newspapers will be sold out. And then people will talk about it. Some will pretend like I were their best friend and how close I was to them and how much I enjoyed school. But of course they didn't mean anything.

Here comes the bell.

I'm going to go to hell for being such a bad person, aren't I? Or maybe if I'm really nice, I'll get to visit sometime.

I trot down the stairs. Out the building, out of safety.

A crowd gathered and slowed down, looking at the peculiar people standing at the gate of the school.

Now staring at me. They walk towards me.

"We've all been looking forward to this Namine." They kackle.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12: I am this

If I don't move out of the way of all of this madness, I will be lost.

I honestly believed that I would someday get a boyfriend and he would whisper to me sweet nothings, and he would be by my side and everything.

I should've written Roxas a note saying if he someday figured out that I need him, that I love him.

But too bad I need to go through this problem with myself.

A step towards me and time goes in fast play.

I'm on the ground, holding my cheek that slapped me so hard I fell to the ground.

A kick to the side.

I lay on the ground, my eyes wander towards the dumb cowards standing there, not doing anything at all. Looking dumfounded at me. But no, I just stay and wait for another blow to come to me.

I get dragged up by my hair and I hear a couple people shout 'Stop!' but their voices were so faint and fade. They need to act to change.

"You're quiet now?" They hiss in my face.

I spit at them and it causes me to fall back down, weak on to the pavement.

I guess they don't like that because I felt my head lifted in between two hands and I could tell they were about to slam it against the pavement.

And, no, I couldn't fight back, I would most likely be killed by them if I tried. I would rather land in coma than die being beat up in front of my school.

"Go ahead, cry for help, looks like no ones willing to mess with us." They whisper thickly in my ear.

"Fight back!" An un-wavering voice screamed.

And I told her not to come...Kairi-that girl is such trouble.

"Another one to play with?" The leader hollered, dropping me and stepping towards my very loud and obnoxious friend.

I couldn't believe my eyes, Kairi punched him straight in the jaw, without any second thoughts. It just went like-wham- and she smirked.

"Seems to me like you messed with the wrong one!" Kairi snickered and hauled me up, grabbing my hand she ran with me back to the school, with the gang following us in close footsteps.

"What are you doing?!" I hiss at her, out of breath.

"I'll get you safe, I told you-I'm your best friend forever, even if it seems like sometimes I'm not." Kairi said, smiling before herself as she threw in a sharp left.

"Wha-" I start but she pushes me towards the janitors closet.

"Hide in there! Wait until you can't hear me anymore and find that blondie boy you like so much!" She grinned and pushed me in the closet.

I heard her running off and soon I heard all of the footsteps after her. They were fast and hard.

They will murder her!

Scared to death I stay in the closet, following her orders and peeking out once the halls were silent.

I silently stepped back towards the front door.

Stop.

Blood curling scream.

Kairi's scream.

Oh please, oh god...Turn around

Running until I can't feel my body anymore, until I couldn't feel my own soul.

Why couldn't she just go to stupid detention!

I find her.

Laying on the floor. Blood. Red. Faint breaths.

Falling on my knees, covering my eyes, all I could do was cry.

* * *

A gentle hand was placed on my shoulder.

"She'll be fine." Xion says to me. "But, I have to go, I'll see you later." She hugged me and left me to stand alone and face what I had caused.

My fault.

The nurse turned her head towards us and softly took my hand. "She's in here."

Swallow hard.

Kairi was on a white bed, her red hair was hung nicely on her shoulders.

"Whats her condition?" I ask, voice wavering from high to low in uncomfort.

"She has a few broken bones, a little bruised rib and-and last night she had a heart attack. But she's completely fine now." The doctor informed me.

"When will she wake up?" I ask softly, ghand still on the doorframe, scared to let go.

The doctor shuffled, pursing his lips several times, "Understand that she's in...no condition of waking up any time very soon...but estimates say in about...2 months maybe if we're lucky."

I was the one who was supposed to be in the coma, not her.

I stay silent and walk away. As if I could actually handle all of this sort of stuff! She's in coma because of me.

I look ahead of myself and see Roxas standing there, hands in his pockets.

"Hey." He says in almost a whisper.

"Roxas." I cry and fall towards him, sobbing as he holds me.

This is how its supposed to be with me and him.

Roxas rubbed my back in comforting hope for me. He was like my guardian angel. Mine in every way. Just personaly for me.

"Lets go and calm you down a bit." He said, placing a hand on my shoulder and guiding me out of the hospital. Familiar old hospital...

- - - - - - -

"Are you hungry?" he asks me once we were in his house.

I shake my head.

Roxas threw a pack of cookies towards me anyways. "Lets go upstairs. We can play some video games or watch some movies if you'd like." Roxas offered with a sly smile and we went upstairs.

I remember his room all to well, warm and cozy. Filled with his flair and his style that I liked. I stood in the middle of his room until he gestured me to sit down next to him.

"You're hurt." He tells me and rushes into the bathroom to grab a bandaid.

Sweet of him to notice but, ONE band aid wont heal me physicaly, emotionaly, and mentaly. I take it anyways and appreciate the thought.

"I see, you're not going to talk much?" He holds in a surpressed laughter at my confused expression at the band aid.

He takes it out of my fidgeting hands and clasps it easily over my bony finger. "Thank you." I hang my head low in embaressment.

"So, do you want to play a game?" He asks, leaning down to put something in his game console.

"Sure." I answer and take a controler and sit down next to him.

"Lets play mario cart." He cheered happily like a five year old, which earned a chuckle from me.

"You're so old school..." I giggle and we star playing.

About 15 minutes later...

"You totally cheated!" Roxas whined.

"You can't cheat in this game!" I protest.

"But you did! I saw you!" He argued.

"I just BEAT you, thats all! I won! Thats that! There's no-buts- or-cheating!" I shove Roxas a bit.

"I demand a re-match you cheater!" He roared.

"I told you, I'm not a cheater!"I cry and he throws down his controler.

"You so did!" Roxas pouted and tackled me. "Admitt it!" Roxas challenged, tickeling me underneath him.

"I didn't cheat!" I laugh and snort.

He didn't give in and continued, provoking me more and more.

I didn't notice the door opening. I didn't notice who exactly was standing there. I didn't notice what the scene we were in looked like.

"XION!" Roxas yells and leaps off of me. I catch my breath and hold my ribs.

"What were you guys doing?" Xion asked slowly and in a very quiet tone.

"Well you see, Namine was cheating on a game so I-" The blond dimwit started to explain.

"I didn't cheat!" I screach again and get up.

"I-I-Roxas, it didn't look like that to me." She said sharply.

Roxas stopped walking towards her and he dropped his hand to his side. "What?" He asks quietly.

"You were cheating on me." Xion accused, "With HER!" She pointed at me in disgust.

"N-No I wasn't, listen, Xion." The poor helpless boy coughed silently, trying to get the hot tempered girls attention.

"I'm PREGNANT!" She screamed.

I stared at her in disbelief. _What?_

"And you accused ME of cheating?" Roxas shouted, gesturing to himself. "We never did anything! That's not my child!" Roxas cried.

Xion glared at him. "You didn't love me anyways, so what would've been the point?!" She hissed with venom in her voice. "I know you're not the father." She smiled.

"What are you talking about?! Are you insane? Having a child at this age will mess up your future!" Roxas yelled.

I sat there on the bed, staring at their arguement.

"Why would you care! You're not even the father! So you can go ahead and knock up that anorexic bitch over there!" Xion screamed.

It hurt me, I thought she was my friend...but then again, I thought a lot of people were my friends. But calling me the feared name? Has it come to this already?

"I never thought you were the one to do this! Xion, what happened?" Roxas calmed down.

"You don't care about me-that's what happened!" She broke down. "You were always so concerned about her! Namine this-and Namine that. What about ME! I was your girlfriend!" Xion complained, hissing her feelings towards me out in mean words.

I stood up and took Roxas's side.

"Don't act all high and mighty now, Namine! You're not strong! You're weak!" Xion shouted in my face. And I knew she was speaking the truth when I saw the satisfied smile on her face. "Anyways, Roxas, your choice now, either me, who really needs you! Or that little anorexic bitch who is not able to offer you anything!" Xion snarls.

"She has plenty of things to offer! She's smart and gentle, kind, sweet, and you know what Xion? I don't care! Not about you! Not about your little child you're having by cheating on me! Or anything that has to do with you!" Roxas voice was booming now as he held me by his side, by his hand.

Xion's mouth hung open. "You'll never find someone like me again!" She shouted.

Roxas laughed. "I don't want to find anyone like YOU again."

Thats the first time I saw Xion turn her back on us. The last time I would ever talk to her.

Roxas turned to me. "I can't believe it." He said, hanging his head low.

I knew he was heart broken. Now he knows how I felt.

"It happened and it is done. You can't change it. I feel bad that this happened but fate is fate and it will come so or so in the end it would've been like this. I guess if she can't see your qualities the way I do, then it's her loss of perception. You should just hope that she finds someone and stays healthy. I believe the words she said about me were true, but I'm willing to change that." I tell him confidently. "I will learn to be more confident! "And I will learn my way to steal your heart! So watch out!" I say in happiness.

Roxas stares at me, the silly skinny girl who just basicaly confessed her love to him and he stared hard.

"I am going to go and let you think about everything! But be sure that I will not give up on you no matter what happens!" I purse my lips before him.

He smirked. "You do realize that what you just said made no sense, right?" He chuckled.

I lower my voice. "How?" I ask innocently and confused.

"Because you already won my heart."


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13: Hollow hills

"That was so cool! I totally want to do that again sometime!" I could hear Roxas's voice booming down the hall.

Franticly, I push my things in my seat and rush out of the opened door to the halls.

"Nam!" I heard Roxas shout happily as he took me by surprise, by running straight up towards me, twirlling me around like a doll. In the corner of my eye though, I could see some odd looks given to him.

"Who is this?" They asked.

"Well, this is Namine." Roxas said as if stating the obvious.

"Oh! So you're the one he was speaking about?" They were a odd bunch. One had spiky brown hair and looked a lot like Roxas, the other had soft blond hair and baby blue eyes.

"Yes?" I peep quietly under my breath.

Both of the boys look at each other, then to me and run up, shaking my hand.

"I'm Sora!"

"I'm Demyx! The better one!" Demyx smiled cheesily.

"Hands off!" Roxas blurted. "She's not a toy!" Roxas said pulling me away from the two new boys.

I saw a pure silver haired familiar. "Riku!" I called out and he turned around, giving me a weak smile.

He jogged over to me and gave me a quick hug.

"Haven't seen you in a while." He says. "You heard about Ka-"

"Yes..." I mumble. "And I hope she'll be doing fine soon...real soon." I add and look down to th floor.

"Me too. You know, I miss her-a lot. A bit more than I miss you." He challenges his voice to speak the last sentece.

"Miss me? How? I see you every day!" I place my hands on my hips.

Riku rubbed the back of his head, "Well, I haven't really talked to you so much lately. Feels like I've been missing out on your happiness." He gave a little half smile before waving. "I need to catch my bus now. I'll call you on the weekend sometime." He beamed before leaving.

I turned around to find the 3 friends totally fessed up in a conversation about Crazy people.

"Wha-" I start but keep to myself before Sora laughed.

"Wow! We were talking about you not being a toy and all, which turned into pokemon, turned into cake, turned into ccrazy sugar high people." He explained.

I understood no connection of any of them. Boys certainly are good at random conversations.

* * *

"So I was wondering..." Roxas pursed his lips as we were walking home. "Maybe you can come over today? If you're not busy, I mean." He blushed wildly and didn't understand how adorable he looked right then!

I glanced up at him. "Sure, I'll come right away. I'll just drop off my things, join me if you like." I encourage as I open the front door.

He shyly trotted in behind me and up my stairs, to my room, down the stairs, and out the door again.

"Autumn tree." I say on instinct.

"What?"

"I always called those tree's Autumn tree." I explain pointing to a large tree across the side walk.

"That willow tree?" He asks curiously.

I nod and turn back towards his house's direction. "Come on!" I skip, linking arms with him, causing him to stumble a bit but then re-gaining his balance again he took the lead.

No matter how many times I'm in Roxas's room, I always am amazed by how much it mirrors him. It's like he just explains who he is just basing in his room.

I sit on his bed again, curling up in a comfortable position. I let out a soft moan by the warmth.

The spiky blond laced his fingers in my mess of hair. "You're adorable." Roxas spoke in a whisper. "Like a doll." He breaks off the contact, which makes me frown a bit.

"How did it come to this?" I ask curiously, gazing him in the eys.

"Friendship turns into love, love doens't turn into friendship." He lectures.

"More. Tell me...how did you fall for me? I mean really...ME?" I pout and hit his shoulder softly.

"It's not my fault I fell for you! You tripped me!" He joked, grinning.

"It's hard to get answers out of you!" I protest. "Anyways, Roxas, you're very important to me." I state happily.

"How so?" He asks with a smart smirk on his face, but it couldn't stop him looking so cute.

"Because whenever I want to die, I think of you, and then I'm okay again." I say, looking at my fingers slyly. It was difficult to say, because it was true.

Roxas sighed and rolled me over so my head was burried in his shoulder. "I was made just for you, made to adore you." Roxas whispers sweetlyin my ear.

If I could stay like this. Just like this. I would be in heaven. I would be clipping my wings so I couldn't fly away. So this would be where I was forever.

"Roxas." I whisper in his ear softly.

He groweled in his throat deeply as a relpy.

"I love you." I say in confidence, yet in a muffeling tone.

I'm reaching over, I was made to be here with you. To find him, made just for him. Made to be loved by him.

"Never. You will never leave me. You were waiting on me. And you will keep me. Never leave me." I add on, holding him close.

I didn't realize it then.

He didn't say anything. He jus held me closer. Wanting to hear more. I would say anything he wanted.

I didn't know.

He was so warm, I could hear his fast heart beat. That easy. Glass clear

But the glass had a spot.

I wasn't able to tell.

That something was terribly wrong.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14: If I knew my paste

I couldn't stop thinking about Roxas. He loved me and I loved him, everything was fine about that! So why was I so concerned about this anyways? It's nothing! It's simple-but I can't let go of it!

It made me dizzy-I felt so tired and my body was swanking from left to right. I sat down and started drawing to calm myself. But the headache was still there.

"Are you going to eat?" A deep husky voice errupted my thoughts.

I dropped my pencil I was doodeling with and stared up. "What are you doing here?" I ask, tilting my head.

"What? My sisters out and now I was thinking of holding a conversation with you-but apparently you're too good for me? Well guess what! I have problems too! I was trying to make sure you're okay!" Axel frowned.

I sit up and open the front door. "You need to leave." I say softly.

He gave me a puppy look. "What? Go ahead- you can use force to get me out violently- I find it sexy!" Axel grinned and I just rolled my eyes, pushing him out.

He was so weird.

How did he get in here in the first place anyways?

* * *

I couldn't believe it- I actually saw her!

The scene was off though.

Xion's bulging stomach waddeling down the street, in the rain-without a jacket or anything.

Despite the things she has done or said to me-I wasn't a bad person and I wouldn't make a highly pregnant teen girl wander the streets! In the R-A-I-N.

I approached her with fast strides. "You're going to get sick." I state, placing a hand on her shoulder.

"Leave me alone!" She hissed and tore away, walking passt me.

I watched her back turn and keep walking away from me. "I bet you have no where to go." I say, smiling. I got her now.

She stopped in her tracks and turned around, smiling weakly. "You're really something else."

- - - - - - -

I let her change into one of my mothers old black and white striped turtlenecks that would be benefiting her form and let her borrow some blue jeans that helped her dry her for now.

"I'm sorry-the clothes aren't the best but they work. By the way-if you don't mind me asking...when do you expect the baby?" I ask curiously.

"Soon." She answered shortly, slurfing down the eggs and toast I made for her. "Thank you again, you're very generous." She said with her head hung low.

"No problemat all!" I say hesitantly. "It's totally fine..." I say getting quieter.

"Uhm...do you have any orange juice? No pulp." She asked politely. I checked the refrigerator.

"Oh- I only have apple juice-do you want that?" I ask.

"Anything." She said-again, in a short answer.

I poured her a glass and handed it to her.

"I feel like such a sleeze hobo now." She snorted. "I can't believe I need your help."

"I'm sorry!" I say on instinct.

She absent mindedly turned towards me with big eyes. "Why? I'm the one who called you all those names-and now I'm eating half of your refrigerators contents! I should say sorry! You're some odd girl..." Xion sighed patting her stomach.

There was a sharp pain to my head, but I ignored it. I lost my vision for a second and had to regain my posture. Again?

"Is it a boy or a girl?"

"A boy."

"What are you going to name him?"

"Evan." She said. "I like that na-" She cut off.

"Xion-are you okay?" I asked, concerned, placing a hand on her back.

"Call the hospital she croaked out and I didn't have a second thought about it. I grabbed the phone and pushed 911.

"Hello, police, do you need help?" They asked.

"Yes-yes, my friend...she's pregnant and she's in labor I believe, she needs an ambulance to Sunset road, 9743th..." I trailed off and hung up. "They'll be here any second now." I say hesitantly.

"I-it hurts li-like hell!" She screamed, clutching my hand.

I cried out in pain by her hard hold.

"Sorry-but it just hurts like-AHH!" She screamed more and I screamed with her.

Soon an ambulance came and picked her up.

"Do you want me to co-"

"No! Just-Just t-Tell him to get over here!"

"Who?!" I exclaimed worried.

"AXEL!" She screamed and the door shut.

What the hell? Axel was the father?! Thats just....Oh god! He's such a freak!!!!

* * *

"Seariously?" Roxas coughed. "It was Axel?" He almost choked on his food.

"Yes-I know!" I say with him. "I was shocked too!" I cry.

There was an awkward silence between us two.

"If you're ever pregnant, Namine..." Roxas trailed off-and he started smiling.

I slapped the back of his head.

"OW!" he cried out, clutching his head.

"You're such a pervert." I shake my head. "Really..." I sigh and Roxas catches my arms, twisting them around himself.

"But-But think about it! Little Namine's and little Me's! Running around calling 'mommy' and 'daddy' come on! Isn't that just cute?" He said, smirking at me.

I imagined a miniatur Roxas running up to me and calling me 'mommy' I believe I turned a crimson red. "Uh..." I giggle heckticly.

"That was my point." Roxas nodded before himself. "Anyways...sooo..."

"So..." I say after him.

"Have you eaten yet? Today?" Roxas asks.

"..." I hesitate, "No." I answer honestly.

Roxas sighed and grumbled. "Come on! Eat at least something! Anything!" Roxas cried. "Come on! For me? Please?" He begged.

"Why? Why should I anyways?" I asked, chewing on my lip.

"Because if you do, I give you rewards." He said with wide eyes, happily. I had a guess that he had a idiot proof idea.

"Reward?" I flick my head towards him. "What rewards?" I ask.

"Hmm...rewards like this-" Roxas said and pulled me in close. He held me on my lower back with one hand and cupped my head in the other. He bent down to tease me with a few pecks on the lips even though I wanted more he pulled away.

"No fair! I wasn't done with my sample!" I cry, licking my lips.

Roxas simply laughed. "You're such a crybaby!" Roxas grinned.

A thought ripped through my mind.

What was wrong with me?! Why couldn't I stop thinking that something was wrong?

"Roxas I-" My head was spinning, booming!

Pain.

And I simply felt my body slump to the cold pavement.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15: Waiting on me

It was bright. Everything was so bright. Like a white box going on forever. There was no up down or left and right. It was just this. It was weird. Curious. Different.

I didn't like it.

No Kairi, no Riku, no Roxas. No one here with me. It was agonizing.

Crack.

What was that? I heard a cracking sound beneath me and I saw the white around me starting to form cracks, breaking apart.

Breaking beneath me.

No light. Just pure darkness, I could only see myself and it seemed like the white room. Ever on going-not knowing.

I think I went crazy-no colors nothing at all. Zero.

I started picking at my skin, trying to see color again.

Red.

Blood.

* * *

"Are you okay?!" Roxas? Is that you? "Wake up already! Stop messing around!" He sounded desperate as I felt my body being shaken.

"Stop that you weasel! She needs rest! Who let you in here anyways?!" And annoyed woman's voice was in the background.

"No! Don't touch me! Get off of me!" Roxas shrieked.

Don't leave me.

My fingers curl, gripping his shirt.

"She's waking up!" He boomed in happiness.

I saw his happy face, the light shining on him. Tears running from his wide bloodshot eyes. He held my hand to his face and held it close.

"You're with me again." He whispered against my hand.

"W-What happened?" I asked groggily, I felt soar and tired. So tired...

"You passed out-from...lack of food. You needed to eat. So- you're body just gave in-I guess..." Roxas's face was hurt as I took in reality.

"I'm sorry." I spoke quietly.

"I believe you need to leave, and this young lady needs to speak to the doctor now." The ticked off nurse tapped my blond prince's shoulder and I let him go.

"I'll wait for you outside!" He called before the door was closed and the tall skinny man in a white mantel came in.

He had long and skinny fingers perfectly trimmed, faded eyes and he looked so energetic it scared me. He must be in his 30's somewhere.

"Ah, yes, Namine, we have some things to discuss here." He said, walking over to my bed and sitting on the edge of it.

"Yes?" I ask softly. I was so weak and I felt like sleeping in Roxas's arms.

"Is your boyfriend pressuring about being thin? Your friends perhaps?" The doctor asked, I looked down on to my fingers, tangeled into the bed sheets.

"No-in fact, they all are forcing me to eat...especially my best friend..." I murmur, keeping my eyes low.

"What about your parents?"

Yes, what about them? Nothing. I don't want to speak about that. They're something else. "No." I lie. They were only part of why I was like this.

"Any deaths of friends-family maybe?" He asks a concerned expression over him.

"No, sir. I'm fine, I just don't like eating is all." I say with a blank expression, empty eyes.

"It's okay Namine, you don't have to speak of it. But understand this-people have told you before, if you don't do something about this you wont be here for long." He spoke, no strain in his voice, not wavering-he meant his words.

"I can't stop it." I say, staring at my fingers.

He puts a hand on my shoulder. "We will help you, how about you come for a checkup once a week here to me, and then we'll make sure that your little friends watch over you. This is treatable."

"Okay." I answer.

"But know this- if you don't co-operate soon, we will have to keep you here." He warned.

Keep me? I hate hospitals. No more-please. I never want to stay here. Not if my life depended on it! I don't want to stay here for more than 3 days!

I step down from the bed and sit up.

"I want to go." I tell him.

"I'm not stopping you, go ahead, just come every wednesday to check up, okay?" He says, his bony fingers left my shoulder.

"Yes, I will."

I knew I wouldn't.

* * *

"God-you scared me there!" Roxas cried, clutching me super hard. Holding me with a shaking body.

I hugged him back. "I will try to get better now, I promise." I sigh into the crook of his neck.

When we let go of each other he kissed my cheek. "Xion called earlier. She wanted to meet us sometime." Roxas spoke.

I gave him a nod. "I'm sleepy Roxas." I let out a soft yawn and stretch my arms out.

I shift into the couch and find myself comfortable. But it was cold-ish.

I pulled Roxas down with me, by the collar and held him close. "You smell like lavender." I say into his chest.

He chuckled deeply and I felt the vibration in his chest. "You're such a childish girl."

"I'll try extra hard to make you and Kairi proud of me of changing." I snuggled into the crook of his neck. "Roxas, are you happy?"

"What kind of question is that?" He snorted.

"Are you?" I provoke.

"Of course I am. Why wouldn't I be? You're okay now." His voice rumbled in my head. Echoing.

There are a lot of reasons I could name right now. Several. Countless. But remained silent.

* * *

I was in cooking class right now and I was making an apple pie. It smelled good but I couldn't finish the tiny thing alone. It would be a big step.

"Come on Nami! Eat some with me!" Riku said, poking me with a fork.

"I swear, stop it! I can't eat any more!" I cry for mercy.

"For meeeee?" Roxas begged with puppy eyes.

How could I say no? I took one more bite-but that was it!

"Now one more for me!" I hear a high pitched voice in the back. I turn around in surprise.

"Kairi!" I cry and she hugs me.

"Now, seriously, eat one more spoon for me." She demanded.

I groaned loudly, "I can't! I'm stuffed!" I cry loudly. "Please! Don't make me throw it all up!" I plead.

"Nonsense! You can! You will!" Kairi pouted, crossing her arms. She sat down before me and picked up a fork, she held it up to my lips and tried to press it in.

I twitch away, the smell was strong-I felt so sick. "Urgh, you wont let this go-will you?" I ask, gurgeling away the gross stuff sneaking up my throat.

"No. I will not." Kairi replied coldly.

I sigh. "I warned you...I opened my mouth and held my breath.

I chewed for a very long time and the sensation in my throat came back.

I shot Kairi a glare before I started running for the door and to the bathroom.

- - - - - - -

"I hate you." I spat at Kairi.

"I love you too!" She hugged me tightly. "It was good that you ate! At least you're trying!"

"I wish you wouldn't force me." I sigh and lean on to Roxas's shoulder.

He slipped an arm around my waist and his voice vibrated in my head. "She's going to have to try small first. It's not going to happen overnight." Roxas soothed my hair, running through it with his hands and it felt great.

"Get a room already! Jeez, I'm trying to help!" Kairi pouted, crossing her arms.

I giggle softly. "I know your form of 'help' Kairi."

"It's already bad enough that I'm the aunt of the child whose mother I can't stand." Kairi grumbled.

"You mean Xion?" Roxas corrected her.

"Yeah, that girl..." Kairi rolled her eyes in her typical way.

"You need to accept it sooner or later."

"How about never?" Kairi groweled. "Anyways-I'm telling you guys-don't have kids, I don't want to become a godmother also!" She whailed.

I blushed wildly and so did Roxas.

"Y-You're we-we're n-n-not-!" We stumbled over our words.

"Whatever you say...." Kairi smirked darkly.

"Namine-what are you doing here?!"

Oh god. Not them!


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16: Maybe it's true

There, standing before me was my mother. In her makeup-looking youthful although her age already passed it.

Yes, mother and father were staring in my face.

"Uhm-this is-" I stagger over words.

But I was cut off by my moms sharp tounge."We know who this is-just get inside." Her slim face was fit in a perfect line of smile. Pale and disciplined.

It is embaressing, it was horrid. I knew that now that I was caught-there would be no "Roxas" for me anymore. They'd probably transfer me to an all girls school and I'd end up a nun and have to live with cats and be known as the crazy person! I would be ruined! No more of me would be seen in public!

They'll forget about me!!

R-Roxas...will forget about me.

* * *

I was called downstairs into the living room, sitting down, parallel to my parents.

At first we were just staring at each other, but then-my father opened his lips to speak.

"Namine, I don't know what you think you're doing around that boy."

"He isn't just any boy! His name is Roxas!"

I was already bursting out in rage. Perhaps I was truly over reacting, or just-completely in love with him, well, I think it's the second one but there is still doubt in my quivering thoughts.

"We know who he is, Roxas comes from a family, who owns a lot of antiques." My mother said sharply.

Disbelief, realization, in the end, all they saw the people in this town as was a big fat hunk of money, money they could obtain from them easily. "N-No, I-I love Roxas..." I mutter quietly while my hair hung at the side of my face.

"I do not care! He's just going to come in your way! Love is something you shouldn't know about! You shouldn't even be able to define this word!" My dad almost shouted, complete darkness in his eyes.

"He makes me feel like I'm useful! I don't want to die anymore! He helps me! Whenever he talks to me, I feel my chest tightening. When he says my name-I want to spring out in happiness! He makes me better! I-Love-Roxas." I growel lowly. "And I don't care what you say!! I am in love with him! There is no way I will leave him!" I scream loudly in accomplishment.

Me and my big mouth.


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: Thnx for the reviews! I must say this about the story here:**

**It is based on real life-I know who it happened to and I know who it is, if you're really interested on who it is you can ask =D**

* * *

Chapter 17: I don't care as long as it's about me.

It didn't take long for me to be flinching and laying, fallen on the ground.

"Excuse me?! That is not a way to be talking to your parents! Who do you think you are?! You're a child! I don't think this is someone you should be around!" My father roared at me.

I scramble up quickly to stare him in his cold eyes. "I don't care what you think." My eyes were confident and big. Serious.

Both of their eyes bugged out. "This is not acceptable! Not one bit!" Was what came out of my mothers lips. "You do not talk to us in any matter!" She screached, making her pretty face scrunch up into something not suiting her usual expression at all.

"What would you two care? You're hardly ever home anyways!"

Sickening. They were so sickening! How dare they act all responsible now?! Like they care! All they want to do is run-run away never face their problems!

"You will not see him and that is that!"

I shut up.

I already had it in my head. I knew what to do.

Someday-I will show them that I'm right.

* * *

Alone in my attic, head hung low, gazing out the window.

I'm smiling.

The shadows cover the hues of color.

A low fog appears at night.

A small 'tock' on the window.

Head shoots up.

Open the window.

No one.

I am truly going insane.

* * *

Buzz Buzz

Annoying sound, go away...

Buzz Buzz

Eyes fluttering open

Glancing down

Phone call

"H-hello?" I ask drowsily on the phone, I was so tired-I hardly got any sleep last night.

"You have to come to Roxas's house, quickly!"

Beep Beep Beep

Hung up..

It was-Xion's voice.


	18. Chapter 18

_**Chapter 18~**_

**A/N: I know I havent been updating these in a LONG time-but whenever school starts for me I get inspiration x3 And with time all my other stories will be updated too! Another short chappie but today I was busy and shall get everything ready and assembled in my mind with ideas for the story-so pls put up with me x3**

**So yeah yeah...on to the story!**

**RECAP~ **

Buzz Buzz

Annoying sound, go away...

Buzz Buzz

Eyes fluttering open

Glancing down

Phone call

"H-hello?" I ask drowsily on the phone, I was so tired-I hardly got any sleep last night.

"You have to come to Roxas's house, quickly!"

Beep Beep Beep

Hung up..

It was-Xion's voice.

* * *

I slid on my mantel and in a white dress I snuck and made my way out of the window, I had to-

No matter what-

I had to see Roxas

No matter the cost, it was important.

Hurrying barefoot the cold wet soil and pavement started to hurt and become a pain upon my small feet and the grass made me shiver as I ran through it. I slipped and fell several times, faltering wouldnt-and couldnt hurt me. Not as much as the unknown of Roxas's health, well being, whatever it is. Roxas came first!

I felt the blood drip from small tears on my pale skin. But the pavement soon soothed it with it's freezing cold feeling as I fled to Roxas's home.

His door was opened, more like slipped open creaked in a strange matter.

I stepped inside...the place was trashed, the shelves thrown to the ground, glass shattered on their wodden floor causing it to damage. the clothes and jewels and cheap china thrown and crashed on the ground. The table tossed over.

Nightmare.

This couldnt be real, where was Roxas? J-Just where could he be?

"R-Roxas..?" I squeaked quietly shivering and stepping right into shards of glass penetrating my skin. But it didn't matter...

I cried out his name quietly continuously until I traveled upstairs to his room, clutching my heart I push his door open with shaking and unsure fingers.

I mutely cried out his name...

He was lying there-

"W-wake up...Roxas...wake up.." I whispered stepping closer to his body, with bloody toes and ankels I approached him as slow as possible."H-hey, time to wake u-up, Roxas, dont you think..? C-come on.." My whispers turned into sobs.

Small tears assembled at the rims of my eyes.

H-how.. c-could this be..

I slumped down next to his body and silently dialed "911"

"Hello, this is the head officer of twilight town, please state your emergency" The dull voice said yawning.

I hic-up'd for a second on the phone before whispering almost in audioably "I think...he's dead.."

_Louder_

"I THINK HE'S DEAD!"


	19. Chapter 20

**Chasing Pavements 19~I'm doctor I'm the patient~ A/N:I know another short one x3 but I'm working on it at least!**

If I could've helped I would've, but I couldnt...

So I'm sat against the door of the room in the hospital, crying my eyes out before everyone who passes by. Waiting for a sign that Roxas is okay. He had lost a lot of blood-I could tell that from my own view on him. But it scared me to find him there crashed out and passed out on the bed all in white. He looked like an angel either way and it in a way made me very happy, but more sad than anything.

All I could do was wait and sit out here waiting for an answer, from anyone even from the god I didnt believe in-anything would do right now. Some sign that he'll be okay etc. It's unbearable-waiting out here, not knowing what's going on, and since Roxas didnt have any visitors allowed in his room all I could do was wait even longer-

My bloody ankles I left ignored even after several stares from others who went on minding their own business. If I got more of this wait I would be left to rot in insanity, left where I was before all of this already-I should rather say I'd be deeper in it.

"Dear, we cant have you in the halls like that, dont you have a home to go to? I can call your parents, but you just cant stay here for so long." A nurse spoke up at dark. I didnt know what time it was, all I knew was that I could see the stars in the sky from a window at the end of the hall. Roxas was like my star, my hope, my dream. Everything-so I stopped looking at the stars.

". . . I'm alright, ma'm I dont mind staying here." I answered dully

"But-"

"I said I dont want to go." I spoke up with a hurt and yet more mean look at her. She couldnt tell me what to do or where to go, she has no info of me. She cant direct me.

Soon my eyes gave in and I rested my head on my knees next to the door, sleeping a long dream. . .

* * *

"Honey, sweetheart-open your eyes please." My shoulder was shoken and I immeadiatly sprung up. I know what I want-I wanted Roxas, a message about him.

I stared up at a man in a long white robe with a folder in his arms. A doctor-a enemy I had to bare with since I could remember.

I kept my look on him, blankly, he sighed a long sigh, he seemed...tired and worried. "We cant have you stay here...If you want to hide from home or whatever you might b- oh bloody hell, look at yourself-you need to be cleaned up!" He screeeched suddenly picking me up with ease and running me down the hall to a private room.

My meltic bleach blonde hair bounced up and down as I was flung over his shoulder and watching the ground move in swift motions.

He ordered me to change into a pair of jeans and a T-shirt he handed me, I did as I was told and cleaned up. I trotted over to where he was waiting, wincing slightly when he heaved me up on the counter inspecting my feet.

"How old are you? 13, 14?" He asked raising an eyebrow at me.

I blinked quietly answering slowly, "I'm turning 17 soon..." Closest thing I could say was that. I knew I was a tiny girl and mistaken as a little girl often. Insulting as it can be-being seen as young can sometimes be beneficial. Not always good though.

He raised his eyebrows slightly but left it at that. "And you are here...because?"

I swallowed and blinked once, "M-my boyfriend..is staying here-he was in a very b-bad accident.." I say shyly and quickly adding, "His name is Roxas...Roxas Hiyumi.."

He nodded once already knowing who I was speaking of, "Ah, well-he should be able to talk to tonight or rather tomorrow-you, young lady need to certainly go home, we cant have you stay here.." the tall man spoke softly. "Namine, was it?"

I looked at him closely, "I..didnt tell you my name..."

He spoke little and held his head low mumbeling something along the lines of "I worked for your doctor" or something like that with substituding I suppose. He stood up looking at me, "Well then, you should be going now-see you soon!"

I glared and bit my lip, trotting towards the exit of the hospital.

I looked back once...Who was that..?


End file.
